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Managing Post-Election Emotions and Political Uncertainty

by Terri Bly, PsyD, LP

As you are no doubt aware, there was a presidential election in November, the outcome of which has many people feeling some feelings. While we recognize that for some people, these feelings might be pleasant ones, we also know many of you aren’t doing so great. If you fall into the latter group, now might be a good time to learn how to manage your post-election emotions effectively, so you can live your life without being in constant freak-out mode, even if the events triggering them don’t improve (or worsen) as time goes on. 
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Understanding Post-Election Emotions

The last three elections, at a minimum, have been portrayed in the media and online as very high-stakes. Whether this is accurate is beside the point: when we believe the stakes are high, we will have strong emotions about the outcome. The extreme rhetoric often used in the media, and dire predictions designed to grab your attention, can easily create feelings of panic, despair, hopelessness, frustration, or even apathy. Add to that the aggressively combative tone of discourse that has become the norm (exhibit A: literally any comment section below any post or article remotely political), and it’s hard not to feel like your emotions are constantly being set on fire. 

Your emotional response will also depend on factors such as your values and priorities, religious beliefs, aspects of your identity (sexual orientation, gender, race, etc), socioeconomic status, and so on. The extent to which your family and social support system share similar values with you will also contribute to how you are feeling; being surrounded by people with a vastly different worldview can feel isolating. Lastly, if you’ve already been struggling with your mental health, your emotional reactions to political uncertainty may be more intense than if you entered this new era without any preexisting mental health concerns. 

Practical Strategies for Managing Post-Election Emotions

Let’s say you’ve noticed the election results are negatively affecting your emotional and mental health. How do you manage that? After all, the election is only the beginning, not the end, of the story. You may continue to experience emotions like panic, despair, hopelessness, frustration, apathy, and anger as the months and years progress. And yet, you still have a job to go to, classes to attend, relationships to nurture, a life to live. Spending all your waking hours fighting the urge to hide under the covers is neither healthy nor practical. 

This does not mean you should stick your head in the sand and pretend everything is awesome. Rather, it’s about recalibrating your emotions so that every update in the news doesn’t cause you to spiral. We need to allow moments of enjoyment into our lives, even if it means occasionally setting aside what’s happening outside our immediate environment.

Here are some tangible action steps you can take to keep your wits about you as the political climate goes through some significant changes in the coming months: 

    1. Limit Media Exposure.

      During times of political upheaval, we may feel compelled to doom-scroll on the regular, convinced we must stay informed about important matters at all times. In reality, however, there is only so much you need to know to be a responsible citizen. After that, you are likely only making yourself feel worse, with little to no upside. The more we focus our attention on problems we cannot fix, the more likely we are to become anxious and depressed. Consider setting a time limit on how much news or social media you consume each day, and try sticking to neutral sources, rather than ones relying on click-bait and “the sky is falling” rhetoric to grab your attention. If you’re not sure where various media outlets fall on the political/sensational spectrum, here is Harvard University’s regularly updated guide for your reference. 

    2. Practice Mindfulness.

      Grounding yourself in the present moment is going to be a useful skill if you can already tell your emotions will be heightened in the coming months and years. Mindfulness helps us connect with the here and now, observing what is happening in us and around us without reacting to it, so that we can decide what to focus on. It teaches us that, most of the time, nothing “bad” is happening to us in this moment, which means we can breathe, allow our body to relax, and take a bird’s eye view of the situation.

    3. Engage in Constructive Conversations.

      If you decide to converse with people who have a different take on the election outcome, it is best to approach these chats with curiosity and a genuine interest in trying to understand their point of view, rather than looking for an opportunity to correct, judge, or demean them. After all, the best way to change someone’s mind is first to make sure they feel heard. That doesn’t mean agreeing with them – it just means letting them know you are listening. Consider using some of the resources currently available to help people have constructive conversations with friends and family members with different political perspectives.

    4. Focus on Local Actions.

      As I mentioned earlier, the more we devote our attention to events and situations outside our control, the worse we will feel. Instead, consider getting involved in local events that align with your values. Whether it’s local political committees, volunteering with an organization that is addressing issues you are concerned about, or just helping people who are struggling, you are more likely to feel empowered and energized, rather than paralyzed and hopeless.

    5. Seek support when needed.

      If you find yourself getting stuck inside your own head, ruminating at all hours of the day and night, unsure how to distract yourself from unhelpful trains of thought, you will probably benefit from talking with others about what’s on your mind. Whether you turn to your support system, a support group, or a trained mental health professional, finding a place to air your scarier thoughts and feelings can help take some of their power away. As we like to say in Therapy Land: Name it to tame it!

 

The Role of Therapy in Emotional Regulation

In addition to providing a safe space to air your thoughts and emotions about pretty much anything, therapy can also help you learn how to respond to your internal experiences constructively and without allowing them to hijack your entire day. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, for example, is an evidence-based approach involving the use of mindfulness and other techniques to become less reactive to negative thoughts and emotions, allowing you to focus more of your attention on the things that truly matter to you. Additionally, the widespread availability of online therapy allows you to find support even when you can’t bring yourself to leave the house. 

Building Emotional Resilience for Future Events

Regardless of how the next four years play out, the election and its aftermath are unlikely to be the only challenging situations you will face. After all, pain and adversity are a part of life for all of us. One way to look at the current distress you are experiencing is as an opportunity to learn new approaches for handling adversity, so that you are even better equipped to navigate difficult situations in the future. To be clear, I am not telling you to view the election results in a more positive light. What I am saying is this won’t be the only time you are faced with painful or scary stuff. By facing the current challenges head-on, and learning how to manage strong negative emotions, you will feel more confident in your ability to withstand adversity in the future.   

Conclusion

Since there is more than enough bad news to go around these days, let me wrap up this post with some good news: Throughout our existence, humans have had to deal with just about every form of adversity that exists under the sun (often many times over). We have learned countless lessons from these experiences, not the least of which is that even the darkest chapters in history do not last forever. 

We’ve also learned how to weather life’s storms and come out stronger on the other side. One of the most time-tested strategies for building strength and resilience is seeking support from our fellow humans. We do better when we don’t try to white-knuckle it through life’s challenges alone. And while therapy is not the only option for support and guidance, having a professional listener in your corner can provide meaningful benefits as you prepare for the months ahead. 
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LGBTQ Couples Therapy – 10 Ways it Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Relationships are a journey, and for LGBTQ+ couples, navigating that journey can come with unique challenges. LGBTQ couples therapy offers a supportive space to enhance and strengthen your bond, no matter where you are in your relationship. By working with a therapist who understands the specific needs of LGBTQ+ couples, you can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and build a more resilient partnership. In this blog, we’ll explore what LGBTQ couples therapy is and how it can help strengthen your relationship.

What is LGBTQ Couples Therapy?

LGBTQ couples therapy is a specialized form of counseling designed to address the unique experiences and challenges faced by couples in the queer community. Therapists who offer LGBTQ couples therapy at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing may offer in-person sessions, online therapy sessions, or a mix of both (“hybrid”). Couples therapy provides a safe and affirming space where partners can explore their relationship dynamics, resolve conflicts, and work toward mutual goals. Whether you’re dealing with issues related to identity, external stressors, or you simply want to strengthen your connection, LGBTQ couples therapy offers tailored support to help you and your partner thrive.
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Does LGBTQ Couples Therapy Work?

The effectiveness of all couples therapy depends on several factors, including the therapist’s expertise and the couple’s commitment to the process. When working with a therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues and experienced in couples counseling, therapy can be highly effective. It can help couples navigate complex challenges, improve their emotional connection, and develop tools to sustain a healthy relationship. With the right support, couples therapy can foster lasting positive change.

How LGBTQ Couples Therapy Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Here are ten of the ways couples therapy can help strengthen relationships:

1. Improved Communication
One of the primary benefits of couples therapy is learning effective communication skills. LGBTQ couples therapy helps both partners express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, ensuring that both individuals feel heard and understood. This improved communication can reduce misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.

2. Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how they are handled makes all the difference. In therapy, couples can learn strategies for resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner. By addressing issues head-on, you can reduce tension and build a more harmonious relationship.

3. Enhanced Emotional Connection
Therapy can help deepen the emotional bond between partners by fostering greater intimacy and understanding. By exploring each other’s needs, fears, and desires in a supportive environment, couples can enhance their emotional connection and strengthen their relationship.

4. Addressing trauma and its impact on the relationship
People in the LGBTQ+ community are more likely to have experienced traumatic events than their heterosexual and/or cis-gender peers. And past trauma can affect intimate relationships in a multitude of ways. A therapist who specializes in working with LGBTQ couples should be able to assist the couple in understanding the role trauma plays in their relationship, while providing them with the skills they need to minimize trauma’s impact on their interactions. The therapist may also refer one or both partners for individual therapy to work on minimizing the impact past trauma has on themselves and their relationships.

5. Identity and Acceptance
LGBTQ couples therapy provides a space to address and affirm individual and shared identities within the relationship. This process fosters mutual respect and acceptance, allowing both partners to feel validated and understood in their unique identities.

6. Navigating External Stressors
LGBTQ+ couples often face external stressors such as societal stigma, discrimination, or family challenges. Therapy can help you develop coping mechanisms to navigate these pressures together, strengthening your relationship’s resilience in the face of external challenges.

7. Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been damaged in the relationship, therapy offers a safe space to rebuild it. Through open communication, transparency, and mutual effort, couples can restore trust and create a stronger foundation for their relationship.

8. Setting Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for a healthy relationship. In therapy, couples learn to set and respect boundaries that meet each partner’s needs, promoting a dynamic where both individuals feel valued and respected.

9. Exploring Sexuality
LGBTQ couples therapy can address issues related to sexuality and intimacy, helping partners enhance their physical connection. By discussing these topics openly, couples can improve their sexual satisfaction and strengthen their bond.

10. Planning the Future
Discussing your visions for the future is an important aspect of any long-term relationship. In therapy, couples can work together on setting and achieving goals related to family planning, career aspirations, or personal growth, ensuring that you both share a unified vision for the future.

LGBTQ Couples Therapy: A Summary

LGBTQ couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their relationship by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a deeper emotional connection. With the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can address identity issues, navigate external stressors, and plan for a future together. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to enhance your bond, LGBTQ couples therapy provides the tools and support needed to build a resilient, loving partnership.
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LGBTQ Therapy in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for WellBeing

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we understand the unique needs of LGBTQ+ couples and are committed to providing compassionate, affirming care. Many of our therapists specialize in LGBTQ couples therapy, and are passionate about helping you and your partner grow and thrive together. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or address specific challenges, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Ready to take the next step in your relationship? Visit our Contact Us page to learn more about our services and schedule an appointment today. Let’s work together to build a stronger, more connected partnership.

LGBTQ Therapy – 5 Reasons People Go to LynLake

LGBTQ Therapy: What is it and why is it important?

People who identify as LGBTQ+ – or queer, as some people prefer to identify – often face unique challenges as a result of societal, religious and cultural beliefs around sexuality, sexual orientation, gender identity, and relationships. Members of the queer community often experience higher rates of sexual and physical violence, emotional abuse, mental health challenges and suicide than heterosexual, cis gender individuals. Therapists specifically trained in helping LGBTQ+ individuals, partners and family members provide a safe place for people to explore the various aspects of their identity, process traumatic events in their lives, gain skills other resources for managing mental health symptoms, and learn how to navigate complicated relationships with family members and others in their community.

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LGBTQ Therapy – Why People Go to LynLake

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we understand the unique challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. Our compassionate and experienced team is dedicated to providing the highest quality of care to help individuals thrive. Our therapists provide judgment-free, sex-positive, gender affirming therapy for individuals, couples, families and non-traditional relationship structures.

Here are five of the reasons people seek LGBTQ therapy in Minneapolis at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing.

1. Inclusive and Affirming Environment
At LynLake, inclusivity and affirmation are at the core of our practice. For us, these are not just trendy words: we genuinely regard our top priority as fostering a culture of inclusivity and affirmation of people from all walks of life. We pride ourselves in providing a safe and welcoming space for LGBTQ+ individuals to express themselves freely and openly. Our diverse team of over 200+ practitioners is trained in cultural competence, ensuring that all clients feel seen, heard, and respected. Whether you’re exploring your identity, dealing with discrimination, or seeking support for relationship issues, our therapists are here for you.

2. Specialized Expertise in LGBTQ Therapy
Our practitioners bring a wealth of experience and specialized knowledge in addressing the unique needs of the LGBTQ community. In fact, many of our clinicians identify as LGBTQ+ and are passionate about supporting members of the queer community by providing informed and compassionate LGBTQ therapy. We offer support for a range of concerns, including (but not limited to) coming out, navigating family relationships, gender dysphoria, sexual exploration, and mental health challenges such as depression, PTSD and anxiety. By focusing on your individual experiences and perspectives, we can develop a personalized treatment plan that empowers you to lead an authentic and fulfilling life.

3. Trauma-Informed Care
Many LGBTQ individuals have experienced traumatic events in their lives, whether due to discrimination, rejection, emotional, physical and/or sexual violence, or other adverse experiences. This is why we emphasize a trauma-informed approach to therapy, recognizing the impact these experiences can have on your emotional well-being. Our providers are trained in a variety of trauma-focused modalities, including EMDR, somatic experiencing, brainspotting and more. Your therapist can help you navigate and heal from trauma, creating a compassionate and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings and build resilience.

4. Holistic Approach to Wellness
We believe in addressing the whole person, recognizing that mental health is closely tied to physical health. Our holistic approach to wellness takes into account your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being, as well as how they interact. That is why, in addition to traditional therapy, we offer services such as medication management, nutrition services, acupuncture, yoga therapy, and wellness coaching. This integrative model allows us to address the issues you’re facing from a variety of approaches and philosophies, to support you in achieving overall well-being.

5. A Deep Understanding of LGBTQ+ Relationships
When it comes to relationships, we recognize that traditional couples therapy often does not work well for relationships that fall outside heteronormative assumptions, which is why many of our therapists have specific training in working with LGBTQ couples and non-traditional relationship structures. As an organization, we are committed to approaching all relationships with acceptance and compassion, not judgment. As such, our providers will tailor their interventions to meet the expressed needs and goals of their clients. If, for whatever reason, you are placed with a provider you do not feel is equipped to address your specific needs and relationship goals, be rest assured that they can refer you to another LynLake provider who is.
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LGBTQ Therapy in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for WellBeing

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we’re committed to helping all people heal and thrive. Our experienced, inclusive, and compassionate team is here to support you on your path to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. No matter where you are on your journey, we’re here to guide you toward finding your path toward wellness. If you are looking for LGBTQ therapy in Minneapolis, we encourage you to contact us today to get matched with a therapist who understands and supports your unique experiences and concerns. Click here to read more about our LGBTQ+ services in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

What is Individual Therapy – 12 Ways it Can Improve Your Mental Health

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Individual therapy, also known as psychotherapy or counseling, is a powerful tool for enhancing mental health and overall well-being. It involves one-on-one sessions with a trained therapist who is either licensed or working under the supervision of a licensed therapist. Therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and to learn skills for managing the challenges of daily life. Here, we’ll explore twelve ways individual therapy can significantly improve your mental health.

        1. Personalized Attention

          Individual therapy offers a tailored approach where the therapist focuses solely on your specific needs, concerns, and goals. It is your goals, not the therapist’s, that determine the focus of your therapy sessions. This dedicated attention helps in creating a therapeutic plan that is uniquely suited to you.

        2. Safe Space for Expression

          Therapy provides a confidential environment where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without judgment. You should never have to worry about being criticized, invalidated or ridiculed for the things you say in a therapy session, which isn’t always the case when talking with friends or family. This freedom can be incredibly liberating and healing.

        3. Understanding Emotions

          Therapy helps you gain a deeper understanding of your emotions, particularly those that feel outside of your control or disproportionate to the situation. By exploring the root causes and triggers of your feelings, you can learn how to manage them more effectively.

        4. Developing Coping Strategies

          Therapists can equip you with coping mechanisms and strategies to handle stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. In addition to learning skills for managing things like anxiety and stress, your therapist may also help you examine your daily habits to see whether making adjustments to those could increase your ability to cope with the unexpected twists and turns of life. These tools are essential for navigating life’s challenges.

        5. Building Self-Esteem

          Through positive reinforcement and a strengths-based approach, therapy can boost your self-esteem and confidence. Recognizing your worth and capabilities is crucial for mental well-being.

        6. Improving Relationships

          Individual therapy can enhance your interpersonal skills, helping you to communicate more effectively and build healthier relationships with others. Your therapist may even role play various interpersonal scenarios so you feel more confident in your ability to articulate your thoughts and feelings.

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      1. Enhancing Self-Awareness

        Therapy encourages introspection and self-awareness. The better we understand ourselves, the more empowered we are to make changes in our lives, and the less reliant we are on others to determine for us what is best.

      2. Healing from Trauma

        Trauma-informed therapists provide specialized care to help you process and heal from traumatic experiences. Since unresolved trauma can interfere with our ability to function across all areas of our lives, addressing trauma is often a critical step in improving mental health.

      3. Managing Mental Health Conditions

        For those dealing with mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or PTSD, therapy provides structured treatment plans to manage and alleviate symptoms. Therapists use evidence-based treatment approaches that have demonstrated effectiveness in treating specific mental health conditions. Your therapist may also recommend medication management along with therapy, if the evidence suggests that a combination of therapy and medication will provide the best outcome for your particular diagnosis.

      4. Promoting Positive Behavioral Changes

        Therapy helps identify negative or unhelpful patterns and behaviors, guiding you toward making changes that enhance your overall quality of life. Oftentimes, we aren’t even aware of our unhealthy or unhelpful patterns of behavior, since we’ve been doing them so long they just seem automatic or even necessary! Your therapist can help you start to see these behaviors in a new light, and can work with you to adjust the things you can control in order to create new patterns that help you move closer to your goals.

      5. Reducing Symptoms of Distress

        Regular therapy sessions can significantly reduce symptoms of emotional distress, leading to a more balanced and peaceful state of mind. Research has shown time and again that we feel better when we are able to express our thoughts and feelings to someone who will listen without judgment.

      6. Achieving Personal Goals

        Whether it’s improving your mental health, achieving personal growth, or overcoming specific challenges, therapy supports you in setting and reaching your goals.

Individual therapy can be a transformative journey that fosters personal growth and mental well-being. It provides a secure and confidential space to explore your innermost thoughts and feelings with the guidance of a skilled therapist. This personalized approach allows for a deeper understanding and management of emotions, the development of effective coping strategies, and the building of self-esteem. By enhancing self-awareness and promoting positive behavioral changes, therapy can significantly improve your relationships and overall quality of life. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or simply seeking personal development, individual therapy offers a structured path to healing and growth. Embrace the journey toward better mental health with the support of an experienced therapist and discover the many benefits of individual therapy.

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we recognize the profound impact that individual therapy can have on a person’s mental health. Our holistic, trauma-informed approach ensures that every individual receives care tailored to their unique experiences and needs. Please contact us today to learn more about individual therapy in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

Therapists in Minneapolis – 10 Important Questions to Ask When Searching for an Individual Therapist

Searching for a therapist is a significant step towards improving your mental health and overall well-being. However, finding the right therapist who meets your needs can be daunting. Whether you’re considering traditional therapy services or exploring online therapy services, asking the right questions can guide you to the best possible match.

What is Individual Therapy and How Can It Help Me?

Before diving into specific questions, it’s important to understand what is individual therapy. Individual therapy, also known as psychotherapy or counseling, involves a one-on-one session with a trained therapist. Individual therapy can help you address personal and relationship issues, mental health conditions, and emotional challenges. It can help you develop coping strategies, improve communication skills, and gain insights into your thoughts and behaviors. Individual therapy can also help you resolve traumatic incidents from your past, so they no longer interfere with your ability to enjoy life in the present.

Important Questions to Ask When Searching for an Individual Therapist

Here are ten essential questions to ask when you’re searching for a therapist:

1. What are your qualifications and experience?

One of the first questions to ask any potential therapist is about their qualifications and experience. Inquire about their educational background, certifications, and licenses. If you are looking for a specific kind of therapy – for example, therapy to help with a fear of leaving the home – ask your potential therapist if they have done any specific training in agoraphobia treatment. A therapist with a strong educational foundation and condition-specific training can provide more effective and tailored therapy services.

2. What is your approach to therapy?

Therapists often use different approaches or modalities to guide their practice. Common approaches include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), EMDR, and more. Many therapists have training across several treatment modalities, but most have settled on one or two that they tend to use the most. Understanding a therapist’s approach can help you determine if it aligns with your preferences and needs. If you aren’t familiar with any or all of these approaches, ask your therapist about the qualities or structure you may be looking for. For instance, are you looking for a highly-structured, time-limited (e.g., 8-10 sessions) approach that includes weekly “homework”? Or are you looking for an approach that will specifically help you with past trauma?

3. Do you offer online therapy services?

With the increasing popularity of digital solutions, many therapists now offer online therapy services. If you have a busy schedule, live in a remote area, or prefer the comfort of your home, online therapy can be a convenient option. Ask potential therapists if they provide online sessions, and how comfortable they are with conducting therapy online. You also may want to inquire about the platforms they use to ensure they are secure and user-friendly. If the therapist works for a larger organization (such as LynLake Centers for Wellbeing), the telehealth platform they use must be HIPAA-compliant, and is likely determined by the organization, not the therapist.

4. What is your availability?

Consistency and accessibility are key components of effective therapy. Discussing a therapist’s availability can help you determine how often you can schedule sessions and how flexible they are with appointments. Knowing if a therapist has evening or weekend hours can also be crucial if you have a tight or unconventional schedule. It’s important to remember, however, that finding an experienced therapist who works evenings and weekends is no easy task, and sometimes finding the right fit in a therapist means figuring out how to adjust your own schedule to make it work.
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5. Will I be working with an intern therapist?

Working with an intern therapist offers some unique advantages that can enhance your therapy experience. Intern therapists bring fresh, up-to-date knowledge from their recent academic training, ensuring you benefit from the latest therapeutic techniques and research. They also receive weekly supervision from seasoned clinicians, which means you end up getting two therapists’ insight and experience for the price of one. While intern therapists may not be the right fit for every situation, you may want to explore this option a bit more before assuming an intern therapist will not be able to help you – especially if you need someone with immediate availability!  Click here to learn more about the advantages of having an intern therapist.

6. What are your fees and do you accept insurance?

Therapy can be a significant financial commitment, so it’s important to discuss fees upfront. Ask about the cost per session, any sliding fee options, and whether they accept your insurance. Be sure to check with your insurance provider as well, to get the details regarding how your specific health insurance plan covers mental health services. While most therapists at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing accept insurance for individual therapy services, not all therapists accept all plans, so be sure to ask your insurance provider about whether a specific therapist is covered. Understanding the financial aspects can help you plan accordingly and avoid unexpected expenses. If they don’t accept insurance, ask if they can provide receipts for you to submit for potential reimbursement.

7. How do you handle confidentiality?

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of therapy. Ensuring that your sessions are private and your information is protected is essential for building trust. Ask potential therapists about their confidentiality policies, including how they handle session notes and any digital communication. If you’re considering online therapy services, inquire about the measures they take to secure online interactions.

8. What is your policy on emergency situations?

Mental health can sometimes involve crises or urgent situations. Understanding a therapist’s policy on handling emergencies can provide peace of mind. Ask about their policy regarding communications outside the session, whether they offer emergency sessions, and what steps to take if you experience a mental health crisis outside of regular session times.

9. Can you describe your typical client and therapy process?

Understanding a therapist’s typical clientele and process can help you gauge if they’re a good fit for your needs. Ask them to describe the demographic they often work with, such as age groups or specific issues like anxiety, depression, or trauma. Additionally, inquire about the typical process of therapy, including the structure of sessions and how progress is monitored.

10. What if I don’t think you’re the right fit?

An ethical, competent therapist should be comfortable talking with you about what to do if you don’t feel like they are a good match for you. They should also be willing to help you find the right fit if they are not. Some therapists might request that you let them know what doesn’t feel right, in case they can adjust their approach accordingly. In any case, a good therapist should be able to talk with you about how to have this conversation, be open to the possibility that they may not be the right fit, and have a plan for connecting you with someone who might be, so that you are not left to find someone else on your own.

How to find the right therapist

Finding the right therapist is a personal journey. Here are additional tips to help you along the way:

Online Individual Therapy Services: Pros and Cons

With the rise of technology, online therapy services have become a viable option for many. Here’s a brief overview of the pros and cons:
Pros:

Cons:

Research over the decades has shown that the #1 predictor of how much people benefit from individual therapy is how well they connect with their therapist. This means finding a therapist you feel comfortable with is more important than treatment modality, specific credentials, or even the therapist’s years of experience. Ultimately, you will need to trust your gut as to whether a new therapist is the right fit, as there are no hard and fast rules or checklists for determining such things. But asking questions up front can help you feel a greater sense of agency and empowerment when it comes to finding the right individual therapist for you.

Therapists in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for Wellbeing

Ready to begin your search? LynLake Centers for Wellbeing has over 200 individual, couples and family therapists across 12 locations in Minneapolis and St. Paul. Contact us today so we can help find the right therapist for you.
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Summer is Here! Why Getting Outdoors is Great for your Mental Health

Summer has finally arrived in Minnesota, a welcome change from the long and dreary winter we just endured. The sun is shining, the air is warm, the breeze is fresh, the birds are making baby birds – it’s a glorious time to be outside, seasonal allergies notwithstanding. This is why Minnesotans emerge en masse as soon as the air stops hurting our faces, squinting in the sunlight, our white legs peeking out of the shorts we dug out of a box in the basement. As we soak in the sun’s blessed warmth for the first time in what seems like a bajillion years, many of us begin making a mental list of all the outdoor concerts, festivals, food trucks, sporting events and camping trips we hope to cram into this all-too-brief season. 

On some level, we know that being outdoors is good for our mental health. Why else would we feel so desperate to be outside for every. single. minute. of summer? As it turns out, there is a ton of research out there supporting what we already knew instinctively, which is that being outdoors is about more than simply getting some fresh air into our lungs. Nature has measurable and significant mental health benefits for people of all ages. But why is that and what, exactly, are those benefits? 
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What’s So Great About Outside?

For thousands of years, humans lived exclusively out in nature, co-existing with the plant and animal life around us, depending on it for survival. We learned to use cues in nature (sun, clouds, trees, plants, water, etc) to guide nearly every aspect of daily life and survival – when to wake up, what food sources might be available, what kind of weather we need to prepare for, you get the idea. It stands to reason, then, that we feel better when we are out in nature, since nature is where we historically got all the information we needed to stay alive. 

Clearly, society has changed dramatically over the past few millennia and we no longer depend on nature the way we once did. Our bodies, however, have not changed quite so much. They still yearn to interact with the natural world around us. Think about it: when you find yourself in a forest, or in the middle of a lake, or maybe just in a wooded park, have you ever noticed how your body seems to…shift? Like a head-to-toe exhale. It’s almost as if your body is saying, “Ah, I’m finally back where I belong.”  

This theory – that our bodies evolved to be in tune with nature and are therefore most at peace when in nature – is called the “biophilia hypothesis,” and there are decades of quality research studies to back it up. More recently, perhaps in response to the growing mental health crisis taking place across the globe, researchers have been honing in on the mental health benefits of being outdoors. And their findings are both fascinating and conclusive: we are happier when we go to where the wild things are. 

Ok, so let’s get into some specifics, shall we? What are these supposed mental health benefits of spending time surrounded by greenery, and just how much nature are we talking about in order to get those benefits? Here are just a few of the many ways that heading outdoors can improve your mental health (and your physical health, too!):

Being Outdoors Can Decrease Stress

Our bodies are less stressed out when we get back to our outdoorsy roots. Over 40 experimental studies have provided overwhelming evidence that being out in nature can reduce physiological markers of stress (cortisol levels, blood pressure, heart rate, etc). One study even found that merely looking at pictures of nature can decrease stress! Not only is this likely due to the whole biophilia theory I talked about earlier, but being out in nature also engages our senses in a way that modern life so often fails to do. The soothing sounds of rustling leaves, the calming greens and blues of the plants, trees and water, the scent of fresh air: all of these activate our parasympathetic nervous system, immediately calming us down and reducing the feeling of being stressed out.   

Being Outdoors Can Make You Happier

People who take a walk in nature experience a more positive mood state (translation: they feel happier) than people who go for a walk in the city. At least, that’s what researchers in Palo Alto found when they assigned 60 study participants to one or the other. While both groups reported deriving some benefit from their leisurely stroll, the nature folk reported experiencing more feel-goods than the city folk. Not only that, but the nature walkers reported less anxiety and rumination than their urban counterparts. For those of you who like numbers, it took 50 minutes for the nature walkers to experience these benefits, and they reported exactly zero negative side effects. 

Being Outdoors Can Improve Your Attention Span

I know, this one took me by surprise as well. Who knew that nature could improve your ADHD?! But sure enough, being physically active while out in nature appears to have a pretty profound impact on our executive functioning – things like attention, focus, working memory, and impulse control. And while research also shows that exercising in any setting for 20 minutes or longer can improve your executive functioning, studies that compare walking in urban areas vs. in nature have found that being in nature has more of an impact on executive functioning. Moreover, whereas it takes at least 20 minutes to receive cognitive benefits from exercising indoors, it may take as little as 15 minutes of physical activity out in nature to get those same benefits

Being Outdoors Can Improve Physical Health

The body and brain are connected, which means a happy and healthy brain relies in part on a happy and healthy body. As it just so happens, being out in nature has plenty of benefits to our physical health as well. We now have plenty of evidence to show that spending time outdoors leads to improved cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, and improved immune function. One study even found that having a view of nature outside your hospital window may speed up recovery time after surgery. Behold the healing powers of nature!

How To Bring More Nature Into Your Life

Now that we have established at least some of the mental health benefits that can be found in nature, let’s talk about how you can incorporate this information into your daily life. If you are like most people, you already feel like your days are pretty full, and if you live in an urban jungle, the idea of routinely heading over to a nature-filled oasis might sound improbable at best. Fortunately, there are plenty of urban-friendly options to get at least some of the mental health benefits nature has to offer. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of taking care of your mental and physical health right now, even as it may seem more difficult than ever to do so. The good news is that with the arrival of summer, one of the most enjoyable ways to feel better immediately may be only minutes away. 

Feeling a little overwhelmed at the prospect of spending more time outdoors? Talk with your therapist about creating a plan for addressing whatever obstacles are in your path, to see if there are ways you can incorporate nature into your daily life. Don’t have a therapist but think you might benefit from having one? Contact us today to begin your journey to better mental health. 
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Five Tips for a Successful Medication Management Appointment

We’ve all been there: you show up at your doctor’s appointment and suddenly you can’t remember much more than the initial problem that brought you in. Weren’t there some questions you wanted to ask? A side effect or symptom you thought was maybe related to the new medication you’re taking? Was there some information you were supposed to bring this time? In other words, showing up to a medical appointment feeling prepared can be harder than one might anticipate. So how can you make sure you show up as prepared as possible for your medication management appointment? 

Fortunately, our medication management team has come up with 5 tips to help you get the most out of your medication management appointment at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing.  
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1. Make sure you do your paperwork.

At risk of sounding like Roz from Monsters Inc., it is really important that you complete all of the intake paperwork in your LynLake portal account prior to your first medication management visit. This allows your provider the chance to read over your history, diagnoses, symptoms, medications, and any other background information they need to guide their decision-making. Be sure to include all medications you currently take, including dosage and how frequently you take them, as well as supplements. Also, make sure you know which medications you have taken in the past, and at which dosages, even if they didn’t work well for you. 

2. Identify your main goals beforehand (and consider writing them down).

As mentioned earlier, sometimes the mind goes blank once a medical visit has started, so perhaps give some thought beforehand as to what your goals are for the appointment, then write those down to have on hand for your visit. You might even want to talk with your therapist about possible goals for your med management consultation. Are you hoping for relief from depressive symptoms like low energy, no motivation, sleeping too much or too little, and so forth? Or maybe you experience panic attacks and you are hoping to find something that might reduce how often they happen or how long they last. If you aren’t able to be that specific about your goals, that’s ok too. Your med management provider will be able to ask questions to help them hone in on what it is you’re hoping to achieve with medication. 

3. Come with an open mind.

While the TV might be encouraging you to try a certain pharmaceutical for your depression, or you have a friend whose anxiety practically disappeared after they began taking a specific medication, your med management provider may determine that you would more likely benefit from something you have never heard of before. So while you may have a specific medication in mind, try to keep an open mind when it comes to the actual medication you may end up trying. Your provider looks at a number of factors in order to determine which medication may be right for you, and those factors may point to a different solution for you than for your friend. Your med management provider may even recommend that you hold off on medication for now, until some other issue has been resolved, or because they believe a non-medication solution might be more effective. If you go into your session focused on your overarching goals, rather than on a specific pharmaceutical solution, you are more likely to be receptive to your provider’s recommendations. 

4. Ask questions to determine the right plan for you.

Even though your medication management provider will do their best to identify the best solution for your symptoms and concerns, you can always ask questions to better understand their recommendations. It is your mental and physical health that will be affected by their decisions, after all, so speak up if you have questions about their decision, any potential side effects, safety concerns, what to expect from the medication, how long it will take before you notice any improvements, and so on. It’s even ok to decide, after meeting with your provider, that you don’t want to take the medication they prescribed! Plenty of people decide to take some time after their appointment to determine whether they want to take the medication that was prescribed or try an alternative approach. You can also ask questions after your appointment by messaging your provider through your LynLake portal account – you don’t need to wait until your next appointment.

5. Be patient and keep reasonable expectations.

Rarely do medications work immediately. In fact, most medications for depression and anxiety can take up to a month before you see any benefits at all. Likewise, some of the initial side effects you may experience might subside over time. It’s also important to keep in mind that medications tend to work slowly over time.  You may not even notice they are working until one day you realize you haven’t had a panic attack in a few weeks, or you have been getting up with your alarm most mornings lately and have felt more motivated to spend time with friends.

It’s also important to remember that medications target symptoms, not your overall personality. For example, medication cannot turn an introvert into an extrovert, nor can it transform you into someone who is organized and on time for everything. So be sure to talk with your medication management provider about the results you can reasonably expect from the medication they have prescribed for you, and when you can reasonably expect to start experiencing those results. 

At LynLake, we want you to feel empowered to advocate for yourself and your mental health. Medication management can be a beneficial part of that plan, so if you would like to meet with one of our medication management providers, be sure to talk with your therapist or contact our referrals team directly to schedule your appointment. 

Understanding Trauma and PTSD – Part I: What is Trauma?

Throughout our lives, most of us experience a wide range of events – some good, some neutral, some bad, and some that are truly horrific. While all of these events have the potential to affect how we understand ourselves and the world around us, our brains are wired in such a way that negative events have a greater impact on our perceptions and reactions than their positive counterparts. It’s a survival mechanism, to ensure that we don’t have to learn twice that fire is hot and a growling dog can bite. In other words, our brains are designed to learn from traumatic experiences, as painful as some of those lessons might be.

Sometimes, but not all of the time, traumatic events can lead to the development of a mental health condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. We will talk about PTSD in Part II of this mini-series. In this first blog post, we will discuss the different types of trauma that can lead to the development of PTSD and related conditions.  

Acute Trauma

Acute trauma occurs when a person experiences a single event that is profoundly distressing, harmful, or has the potential to be harmful (or fatal), such as a car accident, a mass shooting, a natural disaster, or a house fire. Merely witnessing one of these events can be distressing enough to be traumatic. It’s also important to note that an event that is hurtful, but not harmful, is not considered acute trauma. To be regarded as acute trauma, the brain needs to register the event as a serious threat to one’s safety and wellbeing.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma can develop when a person experiences prolonged and/or repeated harmful or extremely distressing events over an extended period of time. Examples of complex trauma include domestic abuse, repeated sexual abuse, severe childhood neglect, and growing up in a war zone or violent neighborhood. Even bullying can be considered complex trauma if the person experiencing it believes they are in danger with no means of escape. 

Generational Trauma

Research on how trauma affects the children of those who experienced it has shown that the effects of trauma can last for generations. While some of the impact appears linked to how trauma shapes the way trauma survivors parent their children, there is also emerging evidence suggesting that trauma (especially complex trauma) can actually change our DNA, which then gets passed down to our children genetically. 

Vicarious Trauma

People in certain professions – for example, medical professionals and therapists who specialize in working with trauma survivors – can end up feeling as though they have absorbed some of the pain and emotional impact of the trauma others have described to them. While this may not lead to PTSD, it can have other emotional and physical consequences, and can negatively impact how the person thinks about themselves and the world. 

Chronic Stressors

Sometimes referred to as chronic trauma, chronic stressors refer to stressful life events that occur repeatedly and over an extended period of time. Whereas complex trauma involves a series of events that cause serious harm (or the threat of serious harm), chronic stressors are events or situations that create ongoing pain and/or uncertainty but do not pose a serious threat to the person’s life or safety. In this category, we might place things like prolonged financial stress, growing up with parents who fight all the time, or being in a toxic work environment for months or years. While there is still some controversy as to whether these kinds of situations should be considered traumatic, most therapists will tell you that people who have experienced a chronic stressor such as those I just mentioned can end up with similar physical and psychological symptoms as people who have experienced complex trauma, albeit perhaps to a lesser degree. Moreover, the same interventions therapists use to treat PTSD often seem to be effective at treating symptoms resulting from chronic stress. 

Little ‘t’ Trauma

You may hear therapists refer to certain life events or situations as “little ‘t’ traumas,” not because they are insignificant, but because they typically don’t make the same neurological impact as the “big ‘T’ trauma” (which is the same thing as acute trauma). While they may not come with a risk of death or bodily harm, these events can be quite painful. Examples of little ‘t’ traumas might include things like the ending of a long-term relationship, the death of an elderly parent, the loss of a pet, or sustaining a concussion while playing a sport. The list of little ‘t’ traumas is a long one, and literally all of us will experience multiple little ‘t’ traumas over the course of our lives. How we come to understand these negative experiences can make a big impact on how we think of ourselves and the world in which we live, but they do not typically lead to the development of PTSD. 

Healing From Trauma

It is important to remember that suffering is an unavoidable part of the human experience and we are born with the innate capacity to heal and learn from these painful experiences. One of the best ways to start the healing process is to talk about your traumatic experience with someone you trust. While this someone certainly doesn’t have to be a therapist, mental health professionals are trained to help you process the negative events in your life in a way that allows you to grow from them, becoming more resilient and able to face painful experiences in the future. 

If you are suffering from the after-effects of trauma and would like to speak with one of our qualified mental health professionals at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing, please contact us today. We are here to help. 

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What Is Medication Management (and is it the right choice for you)?

Scene: You’re in a therapy session, and your therapist asks if you’ve ever considered trying medication to help with your anxiety, depression, ADHD, or [insert diagnosis here]. And sure, you’ve thought about it, but you haven’t done much more than that because you aren’t really sure how, when or why medication might help. Should you consider taking medication for your mental health symptoms? How would it help? 

These are just a couple of the many questions people ask when deciding whether to add medication management to their mental health treatment plan. Taking medication can feel like a big decision, and for good reason: psychiatric medications (or any medication, for that matter) can have unpredictable side effects, and it’s often impossible to know how well they will work, or if they will work at all, until you’ve been taking them for several weeks. 

For many people, however, adding medication management to their mental health treatment plan can be a game-changer. So let’s unpack the what, why, and when of medication management, to help you determine whether it might be worth considering. 

What is medication management?

Because the vast majority of therapists are not able to prescribe medications, they have to refer their clients elsewhere for the medication aspect of their mental health treatment. That other provider – typically a psychiatric nurse practitioner or psychiatrist, but physician’s assistants, family medical doctors and pediatricians can also prescribe these medications – is then responsible for determining which medications to prescribe, ensuring the medications are working as they are supposed to, and checking to make sure there are no intolerable negative side effects. This is what we refer to as medication management. 

At LynLake, we have a team of medication management providers, all of whom specialize in psychiatric medications. Your LynLake therapist may refer you to one of these providers, or you can reach out to our referrals team to schedule an appointment with one of our medication management providers, even if you are not currently seeing a LynLake therapist. The provider will ask about your symptoms, your overall health, your treatment goals, and gather any additional background information they feel is important in order to determine which medications to prescribe. If you also see a therapist, your medication management provider may ask to communicate with the therapist, to get their impression as to which medications might be most beneficial, and to check in later on to see if the therapist is noticing any improvements or, conversely, any side effects.

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Why should I consider medication management?

Deciding whether to take psychiatric medication is a personal decision and one you should weigh carefully, just like you would for any medication. That said, many people find that medication improves their daily functioning by reducing the intensity of their symptoms. For example, for people suffering from depression characterized by difficulty getting out of bed, low energy and no motivation, medication has the potential to reduce or even eliminate these symptoms, giving people the ability to get through each day more easily. For people struggling with agoraphobia, as another example, medication can reduce the likelihood of experiencing a panic attack or other anxiety symptoms, so they aren’t paralyzed with fear every time they think about leaving the house. 

Of course, no medication works for everyone, and some people struggle to find any medication that works well for them. But with ongoing advances in medicine, even if you haven’t had success with psychiatric medication in the past, it may be worth asking your provider if any new treatment options exist. 

Many people also find that adding medications to regular therapy seems to make therapy more effective. One way to think of medication is like water wings: if you’re having trouble just keeping your head above water, learning how to swim might seem impossible. Water wings keep you afloat so that you can practice your strokes without having to worry about drowning. Medication can help keep you afloat while your therapist helps you learn how to swim. This also means that some people (though not everyone) are able to stop taking medication after making some necessary changes and implementing the skills they learned in therapy. 

When should I consider medication management?

There is probably no single answer to the question of when you should consider medication management. Some people much prefer taking medication over going to therapy, which means the answer for them might be different than for someone who views medication management as a last resort sort of thing. Generally speaking, however, medication management is probably something to consider if your mental health symptoms are so debilitating that you are not able to function as you need to in your everyday life, if they are creating problems in your job, at school, in your relationships, with your finances, if they are negative affecting your physical health, if you are having thoughts of harming yourself, or if you are already engaging in self-harm behaviors.  

Another reason to consider medication management is if you have been in therapy for several months or longer, and you aren’t seeing improvements in your symptoms or functioning. You are doing the work, engaging in the therapy sessions, making the recommended changes in your sleep, diet and exercise, but you still feel depressed, anxious, etc. Or maybe you simply don’t have the energy, motivation, or clear-headedness that you would need in order to make those changes. If that is your situation, taking medication – even if just for a brief period of time – might give you the boost you need to implement those changes you’ve been talking about with your therapist. 

What if I really don’t want to – or I can’t – take medications? 

There are plenty of people who are unwilling or unable to take psychiatric medications, and maybe you are one of those people. Some people belong to religious faiths that prohibit taking medications. Some people want to pursue more natural interventions (e.g., supplements, cannabis, acupuncture, etc). And for some people, their bodies seem dead set against pharmaceuticals, reacting to all of them with significant side effects and little or no benefits. 

If you are someone who is unwilling or unable to take pharmaceutical medications for your mental health symptoms, there are alternatives you may want to consider. Functional medicine is an approach to physical and mental health that focuses on identifying the underlying cause(s) of your symptom(s) and then tailoring interventions to address that root cause. Acupuncture, Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy, Yoga Therapy, and Therapeutic Massage are also non-pharmaceutical approaches to mental health that can boost the effects of psychotherapy, which is why we offer those services at LynLake, in addition to medication management. These are just a few of the non-pharmaceutical options available for people who do not want to take medications, who are unable to, or who have had little to no success with them. 

If you are interested in learning more about medication management and whether it can help you, be sure to speak with your therapist. Or you can contact our referrals team directly to ask about setting up an appointment with one of your medication management providers. 

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Written by: Terri Bly, PsyD, LP, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

8 Reasons to Start Couples Therapy That May Surprise You

Most of us know that couples therapy is a resource to consider if you and your partner find yourselves arguing all the time and don’t know what to do about it. Most people also think about seeking professional help if there’s been an affair. But these are far from the only reasons to see a couples therapist. In fact, most couples therapists would probably prefer that couples seek out their services before things get to the breaking point. Relationship therapy can be a wonderful way to strengthen an already healthy and loving partnership, because let’s face it: no relationship is perfect, seeing as none of us in relationships are perfect. A skilled couples therapist can go a long way to helping you and your partner work through these issues and come out the other side with newfound energy and desire to invest in the relationship. 

Here are 8 great reasons to consider relationship or couples therapy*:

1. You want to learn how to argue better.

For whatever reason, few of us grew up with positive role models for conflict resolution. Maybe we learned that fighting often leads to harm or rejection, or our parents never argued in front of us, preferring to either stuff down their disagreements or save them for when the kids weren’t around. Maybe we grew up with only one parent who didn’t have many relationships while we were living at home. Whatever the reasons, many of us enter into our own relationships feeling ill-equipped to resolve arguments in a healthy and constructive way. Moreover, we tend to partner with people whose experiences with conflict are different from our own. A couples therapist can help you and your partner understand how your early experiences of conflict inform your approaches to it now, and then help you replace those unhelpful early learning experiences with constructive, effective strategies that will not only strengthen your relationship, but will help you model healthy conflict resolution for your own kids (should you have any). 

2. You are stuck on a specific issue or decision.

Oftentimes in a long-term relationship, situations arise in which you and your partner need to make a joint decision, but you are struggling to get on the same page. The stakes feel high and neither of you believes compromise is the way to go. Examples that come to mind are things like having kids (or more kids), moving to a different part of the country for a job opportunity, or buying a bigger house. When situations like these come up, and you and your partner are far from reaching an agreement, it may be a good idea to bring a professional in to help you talk through what’s at stake, your respective reasons behind your position on the issue, and what you each need from each other in order to come to a decision you both feel good about. 

3. You don’t know how to stay emotionally regulated when talking about certain topics.

Certain topics – for example, money, sex, and parenting – seem to bring out bigger feelings than others, which means that even a couple that typically can stay calm while working through differences may suddenly find themselves entangled in an out-of-control fight, or shutting down completely, and nothing ever gets resolved. A couples therapist can help you lower the emotional temperature in the room by teaching both of you skills for regulating your emotions, as well as the communication skills you need when venturing into hot button topics. They can also help you figure out what it is about these topics that is so triggering for each of you, so that you can work through it (possibly in individual therapy) and be able to separate your own past trauma and painful experiences from those in your current relationship. 

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4. It feels like your partner has changed and you’re not sure you like it (and maybe they say the same thing about you).

People change. Values, goals, health (physical and mental), desires, needs, all of these can – and often do – change over time. This means the person you met 5, 10, or 20 years ago has likely changed in ways you didn’t predict and may not necessarily appreciate. Conversely, one person might feel like they have changed while their partner seemingly hasn’t changed at all, which can leave them feeling like they have “outgrown” the relationship. This can be a particularly scary thought process to navigate, since your partner hasn’t necessarily done anything wrong, and yet, you find yourself wondering if it’s still a good match. Couples therapy is a great way to approach this difficult phase of the relationship by helping you and your partner understand the ways in which each of you has (or has not) changed, and then figuring out if there are ways to approach these differences that don’t necessitate calling it quits. 

5. The relationship feels stuck in a rut.

No relationship is unicorns and rainbows all day, every day. Add jobs, kids, money stress, a pandemic, or just the mundaneness of daily life to the mix, and a couple can end up feeling more like roommates than lovers. Couples therapy is a great space for identifying how the spark you once had got snuffed out, and then help you reignite it. 

6. There’s been a breach of trust (and we’re not just talking about infidelity).

Affairs aren’t the only way a person can betray their partner. Gambling, hidden substance use issues, secret purchases, or simply lying to your partner repeatedly: all of these can create serious breaches of trust in a partnership. If left unaddressed, resentment and contempt can foment within the relationship, making it increasingly difficult to repair the damage as time goes on. Couples therapy, especially if the therapist is brought in soon after the betrayal is discovered, can help mitigate the damage by getting to the underlying causes of the betrayal, and then helping the couple create a plan for healing and rebuilding trust. 

7. Your differences are becoming a problem.

It has often been observed that the traits we are drawn to in a partner are the very same aspects of the person that drive us crazy later on. You fell in love with your partner because they were calm and stable, and now it just feels like they’re boring and predictable. Or you were drawn to their intensity and creative spirit, but now they just seem emotionally unstable and impractical. You enjoyed being the “planner” at the beginning of the relationship, but now you wish your partner would step up and make things happen once in a while. While this relationship phenomenon is about as normal as it gets, that doesn’t make it less frustrating, nor is it always clear what to do about your grievances. A couples therapist can help each of you figure out what it is about these differences that is getting under your skin, then help each of you determine which of your partner’s traits are truly damaging to the relationship, and which ones may require a reframe on your part so that they don’t bother you so much.

8. You want help navigating a non-traditional relationship structure.

Not everyone is in a “traditional” two-person, monogamous relationship. And yet, most of the information and services out there are geared toward couples who identify as monogamous, which can make it difficult to know what to do when you want help addressing issues in your non-traditional relationship. You may worry (with good reason) that the therapist will judge the relationship structure as the problem, and thus won’t be able to help you and your partner(s) get to the root of the actual issues you want to address. Fortunately, more and more therapists are getting trained in how to provide competent, non-judgmental therapy for people in these kinds of relationship structures (including therapists here at LynLake). 

Couples therapy is about investing in your relationship. Like anything we value and want to last, a relationship requires time and attention, and sometimes that means overcoming the discomfort you may feel at the idea of letting a 3rd party in on your relationship struggles. But the right relationship therapist can be a true game-changer, so if you think you and your partner(s) may benefit from relationship therapy, we would encourage you to complete our intake form at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing today, to get started on the path to a stronger relationship. We offer relationship and couples therapy at both our Minneapolis and St. Paul locations. 

*While this blog often mentions “partner” in the singular, please note that we recognize some people have more than one partner, and while the issues that arise in polyamorous relationships may overlap in many areas with two-person partnerships, they also present their own unique dynamics. We plan to address some of these in a future post, so stay tuned!