Archive for September, 2024

You Have ADHD – Now What? How to navigate life with an ADHD diagnosis

You’ve always found it hard to sit still. You’ve lost friends due to your inability to remember things like birthdays, texting people back, and following through on that thing you promised you would do. You and financial responsibility are near-complete strangers, and you’ve hit your head more than once on a cabinet door you unintentionally left open. And then, perhaps after a loved one gently coaxed, lovingly suggested, or flat-out threatened, you went and got tested for ADHD. Perhaps not surprising to anyone who knows you, the diagnosis came back positive. So now what?

What Is ADHD?

ADHD is classified as a developmental disorder, which means it is present during childhood and persists into adulthood. It involves the part of the brain responsible for executive functioning (i.e., planning, organization, emotional regulation, motivation, and so forth). Generally speaking, boys with ADHD are more likely than girls to exhibit hyperactivity, which means boys are more likely to get diagnosed early on, since their behavior is more disruptive to those around them.

There currently is no blood test or brain scan we can use to reliably and definitively detect ADHD, although this is a focus of ongoing research. There is also no conclusive evidence pointing to one specific cause of ADHD. Because ADHD tends to run in families, genetics likely play a role, at least in some cases. Other possible risk factors include environment, brain injuries, and nutrition.

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Symptoms of ADHD

Here are some of the symptoms we look for when diagnosing ADHD:

These symptoms or impairments must have been present throughout the person’s life. If they developed later on – say, in adolescence or adulthood – then we start looking at other potential causes of their executive functioning deficits.

Is ADHD curable?

ADHD has no known cure, which means people with ADHD will likely struggle with their symptoms, at least to some extent, for the rest of their lives. Symptoms may lessen in intensity as people enter into their mid-to-late 20s, when their brain reaches full maturity and/or as they learn skills and strategies to compensate for their symptoms. For most people with ADHD, however, they will always have some executive functioning deficits. These are the adults who have a hard time staying on top of paperwork, forget important anniversaries, show up late to pretty much everything, miss important deadlines, and generally have a hard time with all the stuff we tend to associate with “adulting.”

While it may be tempting to conclude that since ADHD isn’t curable you might as well resign yourself to a lifetime of letting yourself and others down, the reality is that people with ADHD can be just as successful as people without this condition. With that, let’s discuss some of the steps you (or a loved one) can take to reduce the impact of ADHD on your life and those around you.

Finding Success with ADHD

In my experience, the secret to living a happy and successful life with an ADHD diagnosis is to 1) acknowledge the areas in which you need assistance, 2) embrace the treatments and tools that are effective for managing your symptoms, and then, when possible, 3) make life choices that work with your particular flavor of ADHD, rather than choosing paths that are better suited for people who do not have these impairments. So now let’s discuss these steps in more detail.

  1. Acknowledging the areas in which you need help. One of the most frustrating things about having ADHD is that you often struggle with tasks that seem to come so easily to other people. This is why people with ADHD frequently tell me that they get tired of hearing things like, “You just have to put it back where you found it,” or “If you just left five minutes earlier than you think you need to leave, you’d be on time.” For people with ADHD, it is never “just” that easy. But it can be painful to acknowledge to yourself that you may never get the hang of it – at least, not without some help. But here’s the paradox: once you can accept that there are areas of executive functioning that will always be hard for you, that is the moment you can begin finding the tools that will help you get better at these very tasks.
  2. Treatments and Tools. So what are the most effective treatments and tools we can use to reduce the impact of ADHD on our daily lives? Again, while there is no cure, here are a few of the options we have for treating ADHD symptoms:

3. Make choices that work for you. Arguably, this final tip applies to all of us, but it definitely applies to people with ADHD. As I said earlier, having ADHD does not mean you are less capable of success than people without it. It might mean, however, that you will be a happier person if you avoid making major life choices in which success depends on your ability to wield the same executive functioning skills with which you have struggled your entire life.

For example, if you are able to pay attention more easily in interactive settings versus lectures, you may want to choose a small college instead of a large university. If you feel like you’re being tortured when required to sit at a desk for long periods of time, you may want to steer clear of a career that parks you in front of the computer all day. A job description emphasizing the need for “strong attention to detail” may be your clue that the position is not a great fit. By choosing paths that work with your strengths, and that don’t rely overly much on the areas in which you struggle, not only are you more likely to feel good about yourself, you are also more likely to be successful.

A diagnosis of ADHD can help you understand how to navigate life by helping you understand how your unique brain works. Embracing the many tools and treatments currently available for ADHD allows you to maximize your ability to reach your full potential in all areas of your life. And making choices that align with your strengths and rely less on your weaknesses, will boost your confidence and your potential for success. If you’re interested in learning more about ADHD – including getting assessed, taking medication, or meeting with a therapist experienced in helping people with ADHD – contact LynLake Centers for Wellbeing today, or click the link below to request an appointment with one of our providers.

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Resources:

SMARTPHONE APPS

Focus@Will – Music engineered to help you focus. The creators also claim that the frequencies cancel out the sound of the human voice, further reducing your odds of getting distracted.

Freedom – Blocks distracting websites and apps, for however long you want to be free from these distractions.

To Do –  Microsoft app that quickly and easily allows you to create multiple to-do lists, set reminders, assign tasks and track progress.

Monarch Money – A budgeting app that tracks and categorizes your income and expenses, to help you stay on top of your financial situation, set spending goals, and get alerts when you’ve gone over budget.

BOOKS

ADHD 2.0: New science and essential strategies for thriving with distraction, by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey – The latest book by the authors of Driven to Distraction, who essentially introduced the public to the concept of ADHD. A great book for understanding ADHD and how to minimize its impact on your life.

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, by Susan Pinsky – A fantastic book for people with ADHD, or for those who live with people who have ADHD, this book walks you through realistic organization solutions that people with ADHD can actually maintain.

The Smart but Scattered series, by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare – These books are tailored to help kids, teens and adults with ADHD, offering tools, strategies, quizzes and workarounds for managing the various difficulties people with ADHD face on a daily basis.

WEBSITES and PODCASTS

ADDitude.com – This is easily the best online resource for all things ADHD. With sections for parents and partners of people with ADHD, as well as an endless list of resources, tips, education, quizzes, and more, this is your one-stop ADHD shop.

ADHD Avenue – A great podcast about navigating life with ADHD, from LynLake’s own Marcus Manning, PsyD LP, along with licensed marriage and family therapy, Jackie Morrison.

LGBTQ Couples Therapy – 10 Ways it Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Relationships are a journey, and for LGBTQ+ couples, navigating that journey can come with unique challenges. LGBTQ couples therapy offers a supportive space to enhance and strengthen your bond, no matter where you are in your relationship. By working with a therapist who understands the specific needs of LGBTQ+ couples, you can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and build a more resilient partnership. In this blog, we’ll explore what LGBTQ couples therapy is and how it can help strengthen your relationship.

What is LGBTQ Couples Therapy?

LGBTQ couples therapy is a specialized form of counseling designed to address the unique experiences and challenges faced by couples in the queer community. Therapists who offer LGBTQ couples therapy at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing may offer in-person sessions, online therapy sessions, or a mix of both (“hybrid”). Couples therapy provides a safe and affirming space where partners can explore their relationship dynamics, resolve conflicts, and work toward mutual goals. Whether you’re dealing with issues related to identity, external stressors, or you simply want to strengthen your connection, LGBTQ couples therapy offers tailored support to help you and your partner thrive.
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Does LGBTQ Couples Therapy Work?

The effectiveness of all couples therapy depends on several factors, including the therapist’s expertise and the couple’s commitment to the process. When working with a therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues and experienced in couples counseling, therapy can be highly effective. It can help couples navigate complex challenges, improve their emotional connection, and develop tools to sustain a healthy relationship. With the right support, couples therapy can foster lasting positive change.

How LGBTQ Couples Therapy Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Here are ten of the ways couples therapy can help strengthen relationships:

1. Improved Communication
One of the primary benefits of couples therapy is learning effective communication skills. LGBTQ couples therapy helps both partners express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, ensuring that both individuals feel heard and understood. This improved communication can reduce misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.

2. Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how they are handled makes all the difference. In therapy, couples can learn strategies for resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner. By addressing issues head-on, you can reduce tension and build a more harmonious relationship.

3. Enhanced Emotional Connection
Therapy can help deepen the emotional bond between partners by fostering greater intimacy and understanding. By exploring each other’s needs, fears, and desires in a supportive environment, couples can enhance their emotional connection and strengthen their relationship.

4. Addressing trauma and its impact on the relationship
People in the LGBTQ+ community are more likely to have experienced traumatic events than their heterosexual and/or cis-gender peers. And past trauma can affect intimate relationships in a multitude of ways. A therapist who specializes in working with LGBTQ couples should be able to assist the couple in understanding the role trauma plays in their relationship, while providing them with the skills they need to minimize trauma’s impact on their interactions. The therapist may also refer one or both partners for individual therapy to work on minimizing the impact past trauma has on themselves and their relationships.

5. Identity and Acceptance
LGBTQ couples therapy provides a space to address and affirm individual and shared identities within the relationship. This process fosters mutual respect and acceptance, allowing both partners to feel validated and understood in their unique identities.

6. Navigating External Stressors
LGBTQ+ couples often face external stressors such as societal stigma, discrimination, or family challenges. Therapy can help you develop coping mechanisms to navigate these pressures together, strengthening your relationship’s resilience in the face of external challenges.

7. Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been damaged in the relationship, therapy offers a safe space to rebuild it. Through open communication, transparency, and mutual effort, couples can restore trust and create a stronger foundation for their relationship.

8. Setting Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for a healthy relationship. In therapy, couples learn to set and respect boundaries that meet each partner’s needs, promoting a dynamic where both individuals feel valued and respected.

9. Exploring Sexuality
LGBTQ couples therapy can address issues related to sexuality and intimacy, helping partners enhance their physical connection. By discussing these topics openly, couples can improve their sexual satisfaction and strengthen their bond.

10. Planning the Future
Discussing your visions for the future is an important aspect of any long-term relationship. In therapy, couples can work together on setting and achieving goals related to family planning, career aspirations, or personal growth, ensuring that you both share a unified vision for the future.

LGBTQ Couples Therapy: A Summary

LGBTQ couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their relationship by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a deeper emotional connection. With the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can address identity issues, navigate external stressors, and plan for a future together. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to enhance your bond, LGBTQ couples therapy provides the tools and support needed to build a resilient, loving partnership.
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LGBTQ Therapy in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for WellBeing

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we understand the unique needs of LGBTQ+ couples and are committed to providing compassionate, affirming care. Many of our therapists specialize in LGBTQ couples therapy, and are passionate about helping you and your partner grow and thrive together. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or address specific challenges, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Ready to take the next step in your relationship? Visit our Contact Us page to learn more about our services and schedule an appointment today. Let’s work together to build a stronger, more connected partnership.