Archive for the ‘Blog’ Category

Navigating Life Transitions: How Family Therapy Can Help

Life is full of transitions—some exciting, others challenging. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, welcoming a new family member, or facing a significant loss, these changes can shake up routines and test a family’s ability to adapt. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed during these times. Family therapy provides a supportive space to help families come together, build resilience, and navigate life’s ups and downs as a team.

Understanding Life Transitions

Even positive life changes can feel overwhelming. They disrupt our routines, challenge our sense of stability, and sometimes bring out emotions we didn’t expect. For parents, helping kids through transitions can be particularly tough—especially if one or more family members are already managing mental health challenges or developmental disorders.

While everyone benefits from learning how to adapt to change, sometimes families need extra support to find their footing. That’s where family therapy can make a difference.

Family therapy creates a safe space for everyone to share their feelings, understand each other better, and work toward solutions together. It encourages open communication and fosters a deeper understanding of what each family member needs to adjust and thrive.

How Family Therapy Supports Families Through Change

Family therapy offers tools and techniques to help families navigate transitions and adapt to new circumstances. Here are some key ways it helps:

Real-Life Example: Moving to a New City

Take moving to a new city, for example. This is a common transition that can feel overwhelming for everyone in the family. Kids might struggle with leaving their friends behind, while parents juggle the challenges of new jobs or settling into a new community. For children with developmental disabilities or mental health conditions, these changes can be especially hard, as routines, environment, and social networks are disrupted all at once.

Family therapy can make a big difference by:

Tools Family Therapists Use

Family therapists use various techniques to support families through transitions. These might include:

Embracing Change as a Family

Life transitions aren’t just challenges—they’re also opportunities for growth. Family therapy helps families face these changes head-on, offering practical tools, emotional support, and a space to grow closer. Together, you can turn life’s challenges into moments of connection, resilience, and renewal.

Ready to Support Your Family Through Change?

At LynLake Centers for Wellbeing, our family therapists specialize in helping families navigate life transitions. Whether your family is facing a big move, a new addition, or a difficult loss, we’re here to help you build the skills and support you need to move forward—together.

Reach out today to connect with one of our compassionate family therapists and take the first step toward a stronger, more connected family.

Acupuncture for Mental Health: A Holistic Approach to Healing

Acupuncture has been around for centuries, helping people feel better both physically and emotionally. As a cornerstone of traditional Chinese medicine, it’s known for its ability to restore balance in the body. But did you know it can also play a big role in improving mental health?

By targeting the nervous system and addressing both physical and emotional challenges, acupuncture treatments can help reduce pain, ease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and boost your overall quality of life. Let’s dive into how this ancient practice can support your mental wellbeing.

How Pain and Mental Health Are Connected

Mental health issues and chronic pain often go hand in hand. If you’ve ever dealt with anxiety or depression, you might have noticed tension headaches, muscle pain, or even persistent discomfort that seems to have no clear cause.

On the flip side, living with chronic pain can take a toll on your mental health, leading to feelings of frustration, sadness, or anxiety. This cycle of physical and emotional pain can feel endless. That’s where acupuncture comes in. It doesn’t just target one side of the issue—it helps with both pain and mental health at the same time, breaking the cycle and creating space for healing.

Why Acupuncture Works for Mental Health

Acupuncture’s power lies in its ability to work with your body’s natural systems. Here’s how it supports better mental health:

A Holistic Approach to Wellness

Taking care of your mental health isn’t just about addressing what’s happening in your mind. Your body plays a huge role, too. A holistic approach to mental health means recognizing that your physical and emotional well-being are deeply connected.

Acupuncture fits perfectly into this picture. It complements talk therapy, medication, and other treatments by addressing the physical imbalances that may be contributing to mental health conditions like anxiety disorders, depression, or even chronic stress.

Many patients who receive acupuncture say they feel more emotionally balanced and less overwhelmed, with the added bonus of physical relief. It’s a win-win that helps you feel better all around.

What to Expect When Adding Acupuncture to Your Mental Health Plan

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we take a collaborative approach to care. If you and your therapist decide that acupuncture could be helpful, they’ll refer you to one of our licensed acupuncturists. Together, we’ll make sure your treatment plan works for you.

Here’s what the process looks like:

  1. Initial Assessment: Your acupuncturist will chat with you about your physical and emotional health to figure out where support is needed.
  2. Personalized Plan: Treatments are tailored to your specific needs, whether it’s reducing chronic pain, easing anxiety, or improving your overall balance.
  3. Team Collaboration: Your acupuncturist will work closely with your therapist and (if applicable) medication provider to make sure all aspects of your care align.
  4. Ongoing Support: We’ll monitor your progress and adjust your plan as needed to ensure you’re getting the most out of your treatments.

Benefits Beyond the Treatment Room

Acupuncture isn’t just about pain relief or calming your nerves in the moment—it’s about improving your overall quality of life. By addressing both physical discomfort and emotional struggles, it helps you take charge of your well-being.

If you’re living with anxiety disorders, chronic pain, or other mental health challenges, acupuncture offers a safe, natural way to find relief and create lasting change.

Ready to Feel Better?

Taking that first step toward healing can feel overwhelming, but it’s also empowering. Acupuncture brings a unique, holistic approach to your mental health care, bridging the gap between body and mind.

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we’re here to support you on your journey to wellness. Our licensed acupuncturists recognize that good mental health requires treating the mind, body and spirit. By combining ancient practices like acupuncture with modern mental health treatments, you can discover new ways to feel better and live the healthier, more balanced life you deserve.

Your mental health matters, and so does your overall well-being. With the right tools and support, healing is within reach. Contact us today to be connected with one our our licensed acupuncturists, or speak with your therapist about incorporating acupuncture into your mental health treatment plan.

Managing Post-Election Emotions and Political Uncertainty

by Terri Bly, PsyD, LP

As you are no doubt aware, there was a presidential election in November, the outcome of which has many people feeling some feelings. While we recognize that for some people, these feelings might be pleasant ones, we also know many of you aren’t doing so great. If you fall into the latter group, now might be a good time to learn how to manage your post-election emotions effectively, so you can live your life without being in constant freak-out mode, even if the events triggering them don’t improve (or worsen) as time goes on. 
Make an Appointment

Understanding Post-Election Emotions

The last three elections, at a minimum, have been portrayed in the media and online as very high-stakes. Whether this is accurate is beside the point: when we believe the stakes are high, we will have strong emotions about the outcome. The extreme rhetoric often used in the media, and dire predictions designed to grab your attention, can easily create feelings of panic, despair, hopelessness, frustration, or even apathy. Add to that the aggressively combative tone of discourse that has become the norm (exhibit A: literally any comment section below any post or article remotely political), and it’s hard not to feel like your emotions are constantly being set on fire. 

Your emotional response will also depend on factors such as your values and priorities, religious beliefs, aspects of your identity (sexual orientation, gender, race, etc), socioeconomic status, and so on. The extent to which your family and social support system share similar values with you will also contribute to how you are feeling; being surrounded by people with a vastly different worldview can feel isolating. Lastly, if you’ve already been struggling with your mental health, your emotional reactions to political uncertainty may be more intense than if you entered this new era without any preexisting mental health concerns. 

Practical Strategies for Managing Post-Election Emotions

Let’s say you’ve noticed the election results are negatively affecting your emotional and mental health. How do you manage that? After all, the election is only the beginning, not the end, of the story. You may continue to experience emotions like panic, despair, hopelessness, frustration, apathy, and anger as the months and years progress. And yet, you still have a job to go to, classes to attend, relationships to nurture, a life to live. Spending all your waking hours fighting the urge to hide under the covers is neither healthy nor practical. 

This does not mean you should stick your head in the sand and pretend everything is awesome. Rather, it’s about recalibrating your emotions so that every update in the news doesn’t cause you to spiral. We need to allow moments of enjoyment into our lives, even if it means occasionally setting aside what’s happening outside our immediate environment.

Here are some tangible action steps you can take to keep your wits about you as the political climate goes through some significant changes in the coming months: 

    1. Limit Media Exposure.

      During times of political upheaval, we may feel compelled to doom-scroll on the regular, convinced we must stay informed about important matters at all times. In reality, however, there is only so much you need to know to be a responsible citizen. After that, you are likely only making yourself feel worse, with little to no upside. The more we focus our attention on problems we cannot fix, the more likely we are to become anxious and depressed. Consider setting a time limit on how much news or social media you consume each day, and try sticking to neutral sources, rather than ones relying on click-bait and “the sky is falling” rhetoric to grab your attention. If you’re not sure where various media outlets fall on the political/sensational spectrum, here is Harvard University’s regularly updated guide for your reference. 

    2. Practice Mindfulness.

      Grounding yourself in the present moment is going to be a useful skill if you can already tell your emotions will be heightened in the coming months and years. Mindfulness helps us connect with the here and now, observing what is happening in us and around us without reacting to it, so that we can decide what to focus on. It teaches us that, most of the time, nothing “bad” is happening to us in this moment, which means we can breathe, allow our body to relax, and take a bird’s eye view of the situation.

    3. Engage in Constructive Conversations.

      If you decide to converse with people who have a different take on the election outcome, it is best to approach these chats with curiosity and a genuine interest in trying to understand their point of view, rather than looking for an opportunity to correct, judge, or demean them. After all, the best way to change someone’s mind is first to make sure they feel heard. That doesn’t mean agreeing with them – it just means letting them know you are listening. Consider using some of the resources currently available to help people have constructive conversations with friends and family members with different political perspectives.

    4. Focus on Local Actions.

      As I mentioned earlier, the more we devote our attention to events and situations outside our control, the worse we will feel. Instead, consider getting involved in local events that align with your values. Whether it’s local political committees, volunteering with an organization that is addressing issues you are concerned about, or just helping people who are struggling, you are more likely to feel empowered and energized, rather than paralyzed and hopeless.

    5. Seek support when needed.

      If you find yourself getting stuck inside your own head, ruminating at all hours of the day and night, unsure how to distract yourself from unhelpful trains of thought, you will probably benefit from talking with others about what’s on your mind. Whether you turn to your support system, a support group, or a trained mental health professional, finding a place to air your scarier thoughts and feelings can help take some of their power away. As we like to say in Therapy Land: Name it to tame it!

 

The Role of Therapy in Emotional Regulation

In addition to providing a safe space to air your thoughts and emotions about pretty much anything, therapy can also help you learn how to respond to your internal experiences constructively and without allowing them to hijack your entire day. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, for example, is an evidence-based approach involving the use of mindfulness and other techniques to become less reactive to negative thoughts and emotions, allowing you to focus more of your attention on the things that truly matter to you. Additionally, the widespread availability of online therapy allows you to find support even when you can’t bring yourself to leave the house. 

Building Emotional Resilience for Future Events

Regardless of how the next four years play out, the election and its aftermath are unlikely to be the only challenging situations you will face. After all, pain and adversity are a part of life for all of us. One way to look at the current distress you are experiencing is as an opportunity to learn new approaches for handling adversity, so that you are even better equipped to navigate difficult situations in the future. To be clear, I am not telling you to view the election results in a more positive light. What I am saying is this won’t be the only time you are faced with painful or scary stuff. By facing the current challenges head-on, and learning how to manage strong negative emotions, you will feel more confident in your ability to withstand adversity in the future.   

Conclusion

Since there is more than enough bad news to go around these days, let me wrap up this post with some good news: Throughout our existence, humans have had to deal with just about every form of adversity that exists under the sun (often many times over). We have learned countless lessons from these experiences, not the least of which is that even the darkest chapters in history do not last forever. 

We’ve also learned how to weather life’s storms and come out stronger on the other side. One of the most time-tested strategies for building strength and resilience is seeking support from our fellow humans. We do better when we don’t try to white-knuckle it through life’s challenges alone. And while therapy is not the only option for support and guidance, having a professional listener in your corner can provide meaningful benefits as you prepare for the months ahead. 
Make an Appointment

A Survival Guide for Parenting Teenagers, From a Therapist Who’s Been There

When my youngest daughter turned 16, she asked if I was done limiting her screen time. I said no, but added that I was willing to discuss what those limits might be moving forward. “What do you think would be a reasonable amount of screen time these days?” I asked, in my best effort to solicit my teen’s input before making decisions that directly affect her, as parents these days are instructed to do. In response, she rolled her eyes, shot me a look of contempt I have come to expect with discussions that involve limit-setting of any kind, and flatly replied, “As much as I want.” Let’s just say the remainder of the conversation was fairly unpleasant for all involved.

We know parenting is hard. Let me rephrase: we know good parenting is hard. And parenting teenagers is hardly an exception. After all, anyone can yell at their kid for hacking the parenting controls on the phone so they can scroll TikTok until 3am on a school night. It takes something else entirely, some superhuman emotional strength and perhaps months of therapy, to set aside your emotions and focus on what skills or lessons you can help them learn in that moment.

Request an Appointment

Why Good (Enough) Parenting Is Hard
As a parent of teenagers, as well as a therapist to parents of teenagers, I have given a lot of thought as to why being a good parent – yes, even a good enough parent – is so dang hard. While there are a myriad reasons I could list here, I will highlight my top three, including suggestions as to how we might make this phase a little less painful for ourselves.

Reason #1: The Stakes Feel Incredibly High
I don’t have to tell you that Parent is probably the most important job you will ever have. I didn’t say it has to be your favorite job. But it is the most important, which makes it hard not to panic when you think you’re doing it wrong. None of us wants to see our kids struggle, fail, or make terrible choices that take them down dark and scary paths. I also think our society tends to put all the responsibility on parents to churn out successful, law-abiding citizens, and then blames them when things go off the rails. In other words, it can feel like every action we take as parents may have life-altering consequences. That’s a lot of pressure.

Solution: Remember You Are Only One Piece of the Puzzle
For better or for worse, you are only one of many influences affecting how your child turns out. I don’t want to make it sound like what you do doesn’t matter, because it does, but there is a critical difference between influencing how your child turns out and controlling it. Your teen’s other parent also has an impact, after all, as do genetics, siblings, extended family, neighbors, peer relationships, teachers, coaches, religion, social media… you see where I’m going with this. By radically accepting that how our children turn out is as much (or more) outside our control as it is within it, we can ease up on ourselves and focus on doing our best, knowing we will miss the mark on occasion – and that’s ok.

Reason #2: Their Behavior Can Feel Really Personal
Here’s my favorite part (note the sarcasm) of parenting teenagers: One moment, they’re delightful and loving, confiding in you their deepest thoughts and feelings…and the next moment they act like you are the literal worst thing that has ever happened to them. All because you said no to something they want. It doesn’t help that few people in your life will be able to hit you where it hurts more effectively than your teenager when they’re in a mood, which makes their attacks feel so deeply personal. To be fair, when your kid is screaming at you and accusing you of ruining their life, I mean, of course it feels personal.

Solution: Assume It Isn’t Personal
While I’m not suggesting you ignore every piece of negative or critical feedback you receive from your teen, it will serve you better to assume the majority of their insults, accusations and silent treatments are not about you at all. Nor does it mean they don’t respect you. Believe it or not, this kind of behavior often means they see you as a safe person, someone who can handle them at their worst without rejecting them. I’m not suggesting you have to sit there and take it – you can tell them there are limits to what you will tolerate – but when we remind ourselves it isn’t personal, we are more likely to remain calm and intentional in our response.

Reason #3: Immediate Validation is Rare
Honestly, this holds true for pretty much all stages of parenting, but it is particularly true when parenting teenagers: we will rarely receive immediate validation from them that we are doing a good job. I often joke with my clients who are parents that if their teenager isn’t at least a little miffed with them on a regular basis, they’re probably doing it wrong. A teenager’s job is to push limits, test boundaries, and explore independence. The job of a parent is to hold firm to the boundaries we’ve set, letting our teen know that while we have their back, it doesn’t mean we let them do whatever they want – even (or especially) when they’re outraged at the rules we’ve put in place. Even when it seems crystal clear to us that we are making the right call and are doing what is best for them for them in the long run, our teen may have a vastly different take.

Solution: Trust Yourself – and Consult
Since teens are bound to criticize any parenting approach that doesn’t involve letting them do exactly as they please, we can’t use their feedback to gauge how well we’re doing. If upsetting them causes you to back-peddle on the limits you’ve set, you are probably doing more harm than good. Instead, try your best to be intentional and confident in the limits and expectations you set (i.e., don’t make them up on the fly), firm in your ability to follow through on any consequences you forewarned them about, and unflappable when your teen argues their case with the fervor of a defense attorney on Law & Order. If you find yourself wavering, consult with someone who is not your teenager before deciding how to proceed. But mostly, try to trust yourself in moments like these. You may never know with certainty whether you got it right, but if you are being consistent, loving and intentional as a parent, you are almost certainly doing more good than harm – no matter what your teenager tells you in the heat of the moment.

—

As I prepare to usher my youngest into adulthood – she turns 18 on Friday! – I can assure you that it does get easier, eventually. All four of our daughters challenged us in their own unique ways, pushing my husband and I to our limits at one time or another, and had us wondering where, exactly, the light was at the end of the tunnel. I also believe that we – along with our village of grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, coaches, therapists, the list goes on – have managed to do a mostly good enough job as parents, albeit nowhere near perfect. But if we can get through the teen years, so can you. Have faith, hang in there, and give yourself hefty doses of grace and compassion (and maybe the occasional break from your teen and their shenanigans) along the way.

Need support as you parent your own teens? Contact us today to get connected with a provider who can help you navigate this or any of the other challenging stages of life. 

 

About the Author
Terri is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 15 years of experience. Although she enjoys working with clients of all ages, she is especially passionate about helping men and women in midlife navigate the challenges unique to this stage of life, including (but not limited to) health challenges, perimenopause and menopause, divorce, co-parenting and re-partnering, career adjustments, caring for ailing parents and parenting emerging adults.

You Have ADHD – Now What? How to navigate life with an ADHD diagnosis

Written by Terri Bly, PsyD, LP

You’ve always found it hard to sit still. You’ve lost friends due to your inability to remember things like birthdays, texting people back, and following through on that thing you promised you would do. You and financial responsibility are near-complete strangers, and you’ve hit your head more than once on a cabinet door you unintentionally left open. And then, perhaps after a loved one gently coaxed, lovingly suggested, or flat-out threatened, you went and got tested for ADHD. Perhaps not surprising to anyone who knows you, the diagnosis came back positive. So now what?

What Is ADHD?

ADHD is classified as a developmental disorder, which means it is present during childhood and persists into adulthood. It involves the part of the brain responsible for executive functioning (i.e., planning, organization, emotional regulation, motivation, and so forth). Generally speaking, boys with ADHD are more likely than girls to exhibit hyperactivity, which means boys are more likely to get diagnosed early on, since their behavior is more disruptive to those around them.

There currently is no blood test or brain scan we can use to reliably and definitively detect ADHD, although this is a focus of ongoing research. There is also no conclusive evidence pointing to one specific cause of ADHD. Because ADHD tends to run in families, genetics likely play a role, at least in some cases. Other possible risk factors include environment, brain injuries, and nutrition.

Make an Appointment

Symptoms of ADHD

Here are some of the symptoms we look for when diagnosing ADHD:

These symptoms or impairments must have been present throughout the person’s life. If they developed later on – say, in adolescence or adulthood – then we start looking at other potential causes of their executive functioning deficits.

Is ADHD curable?

ADHD has no known cure, which means people with ADHD will likely struggle with their symptoms, at least to some extent, for the rest of their lives. Symptoms may lessen in intensity as people enter into their mid-to-late 20s, when their brain reaches full maturity and/or as they learn skills and strategies to compensate for their symptoms. For most people with ADHD, however, they will always have some executive functioning deficits. These are the adults who have a hard time staying on top of paperwork, forget important anniversaries, show up late to pretty much everything, miss important deadlines, and generally have a hard time with all the stuff we tend to associate with “adulting.”

While it may be tempting to conclude that since ADHD isn’t curable, you might as well resign yourself to a lifetime of letting yourself and others down, the reality is that people with ADHD can be just as successful as people without this condition. With that in mind, let’s discuss some of the steps you (or a loved one) can take to reduce the impact of ADHD on your life and those around you.

Finding Success with ADHD

In my experience, the secret to living a happy and successful life with an ADHD diagnosis is to 1) acknowledge the areas in which you need assistance, 2) embrace the treatments and tools that are effective for managing your symptoms, and then, when possible, 3) make life choices that work with your particular flavor of ADHD, rather than choosing paths that are better suited for people who do not have these impairments. So now let’s discuss these steps in more detail.

  1. Acknowledging the areas in which you need help. One of the most frustrating things about having ADHD is that you often struggle with tasks that seem to come so easily to other people. This is why people with ADHD frequently tell me that they get tired of hearing things like, “You just have to put it back where you found it,” or “If you just left five minutes earlier than you think you need to leave, you’d be on time.” For people with ADHD, it is never “just” that easy. But it can be painful to acknowledge to yourself that you may never get the hang of it – at least, not without some help. But here’s the paradox: once you can accept that there are areas of executive functioning that will always be hard for you, that is the moment you can begin finding the tools that will help you get better at these very tasks.
  2. Treatments and Tools. So what are the most effective treatments and tools we can use to reduce the impact of ADHD on our daily lives? Again, while there is no cure, here are a few of the options we have for treating ADHD symptoms:

3. Make choices that work for you. Arguably, this final tip applies to all of us, but it definitely applies to people with ADHD. As I said earlier, having ADHD does not mean you are less capable of success than people without it. It might mean, however, that you will be a happier person if you avoid making major life choices in which success depends on your ability to wield the same executive functioning skills with which you have struggled your entire life.

For example, if you are able to pay attention more easily in interactive settings versus lectures, you may want to choose a small college instead of a large university. If you feel like you’re being tortured when required to sit at a desk for long periods of time, you may want to steer clear of a career that parks you in front of the computer all day. A job description emphasizing the need for “strong attention to detail” may be your clue that the position is not a great fit. By choosing paths that work with your strengths, and that don’t rely overly much on the areas in which you struggle, not only are you more likely to feel good about yourself, you are also more likely to be successful.

A diagnosis of ADHD can help you understand how to navigate life by helping you understand how your unique brain works. Embracing the many tools and treatments currently available for ADHD allows you to maximize your ability to reach your full potential in all areas of your life. And making choices that align with your strengths and rely less on your weaknesses, will boost your confidence and your potential for success. If you’re interested in learning more about ADHD – including getting assessed, taking medication, or meeting with a therapist experienced in helping people with ADHD – contact LynLake Centers for Wellbeing today, or click the link below to request an appointment with one of our providers.

Make an Appointment
Resources:

SMARTPHONE APPS

Focus@Will – Music engineered to help you focus. The creators also claim that the frequencies cancel out the sound of the human voice, further reducing your odds of getting distracted.

Freedom – Blocks distracting websites and apps, for however long you want to be free from these distractions.

To Do –  Microsoft app that quickly and easily allows you to create multiple to-do lists, set reminders, assign tasks and track progress.

Monarch Money – A budgeting app that tracks and categorizes your income and expenses, to help you stay on top of your financial situation, set spending goals, and get alerts when you’ve gone over budget.

BOOKS

ADHD 2.0: New science and essential strategies for thriving with distraction, by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey – The latest book by the authors of Driven to Distraction, who essentially introduced the public to the concept of ADHD. A great book for understanding ADHD and how to minimize its impact on your life.

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, by Susan Pinsky – A fantastic book for people with ADHD, or for those who live with people who have ADHD, this book walks you through realistic organization solutions that people with ADHD can actually maintain.

The Smart but Scattered series, by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare – These books are tailored to help kids, teens and adults with ADHD, offering tools, strategies, quizzes and workarounds for managing the various difficulties people with ADHD face on a daily basis.

WEBSITES and PODCASTS

ADDitude.com – This is easily the best online resource for all things ADHD. With sections for parents and partners of people with ADHD, as well as an endless list of resources, tips, education, quizzes, and more, this is your one-stop ADHD shop.

LGBTQ Couples Therapy – 10 Ways it Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Relationships are a journey, and for LGBTQ+ couples, navigating that journey can come with unique challenges. LGBTQ couples therapy offers a supportive space to enhance and strengthen your bond, no matter where you are in your relationship. By working with a therapist who understands the specific needs of LGBTQ+ couples, you can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and build a more resilient partnership. In this blog, we’ll explore what LGBTQ couples therapy is and how it can help strengthen your relationship.

What is LGBTQ Couples Therapy?

LGBTQ couples therapy is a specialized form of counseling designed to address the unique experiences and challenges faced by couples in the queer community. Therapists who offer LGBTQ couples therapy at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing may offer in-person sessions, online therapy sessions, or a mix of both (“hybrid”). Couples therapy provides a safe and affirming space where partners can explore their relationship dynamics, resolve conflicts, and work toward mutual goals. Whether you’re dealing with issues related to identity, external stressors, or you simply want to strengthen your connection, LGBTQ couples therapy offers tailored support to help you and your partner thrive.
Make an Appointment

Does LGBTQ Couples Therapy Work?

The effectiveness of all couples therapy depends on several factors, including the therapist’s expertise and the couple’s commitment to the process. When working with a therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues and experienced in couples counseling, therapy can be highly effective. It can help couples navigate complex challenges, improve their emotional connection, and develop tools to sustain a healthy relationship. With the right support, couples therapy can foster lasting positive change.

How LGBTQ Couples Therapy Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Here are ten of the ways couples therapy can help strengthen relationships:

1. Improved Communication
One of the primary benefits of couples therapy is learning effective communication skills. LGBTQ couples therapy helps both partners express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, ensuring that both individuals feel heard and understood. This improved communication can reduce misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.

2. Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how they are handled makes all the difference. In therapy, couples can learn strategies for resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner. By addressing issues head-on, you can reduce tension and build a more harmonious relationship.

3. Enhanced Emotional Connection
Therapy can help deepen the emotional bond between partners by fostering greater intimacy and understanding. By exploring each other’s needs, fears, and desires in a supportive environment, couples can enhance their emotional connection and strengthen their relationship.

4. Addressing trauma and its impact on the relationship
People in the LGBTQ+ community are more likely to have experienced traumatic events than their heterosexual and/or cis-gender peers. And past trauma can affect intimate relationships in a multitude of ways. A therapist who specializes in working with LGBTQ couples should be able to assist the couple in understanding the role trauma plays in their relationship, while providing them with the skills they need to minimize trauma’s impact on their interactions. The therapist may also refer one or both partners for individual therapy to work on minimizing the impact past trauma has on themselves and their relationships.

5. Identity and Acceptance
LGBTQ couples therapy provides a space to address and affirm individual and shared identities within the relationship. This process fosters mutual respect and acceptance, allowing both partners to feel validated and understood in their unique identities.

6. Navigating External Stressors
LGBTQ+ couples often face external stressors such as societal stigma, discrimination, or family challenges. Therapy can help you develop coping mechanisms to navigate these pressures together, strengthening your relationship’s resilience in the face of external challenges.

7. Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been damaged in the relationship, therapy offers a safe space to rebuild it. Through open communication, transparency, and mutual effort, couples can restore trust and create a stronger foundation for their relationship.

8. Setting Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for a healthy relationship. In therapy, couples learn to set and respect boundaries that meet each partner’s needs, promoting a dynamic where both individuals feel valued and respected.

9. Exploring Sexuality
LGBTQ couples therapy can address issues related to sexuality and intimacy, helping partners enhance their physical connection. By discussing these topics openly, couples can improve their sexual satisfaction and strengthen their bond.

10. Planning the Future
Discussing your visions for the future is an important aspect of any long-term relationship. In therapy, couples can work together on setting and achieving goals related to family planning, career aspirations, or personal growth, ensuring that you both share a unified vision for the future.

LGBTQ Couples Therapy: A Summary

LGBTQ couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their relationship by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a deeper emotional connection. With the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can address identity issues, navigate external stressors, and plan for a future together. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to enhance your bond, LGBTQ couples therapy provides the tools and support needed to build a resilient, loving partnership.
Make an Appointment

LGBTQ Therapy in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for WellBeing

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we understand the unique needs of LGBTQ+ couples and are committed to providing compassionate, affirming care. Many of our therapists specialize in LGBTQ couples therapy, and are passionate about helping you and your partner grow and thrive together. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or address specific challenges, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Ready to take the next step in your relationship? Visit our Contact Us page to learn more about our services and schedule an appointment today. Let’s work together to build a stronger, more connected partnership.

Falling Back in Love Again – How Couples Therapy Works

Couples who have been together for many years will almost inevitably experience periods of time when they may question whether they are still “in love” with each other. Kids, jobs, financial stress, health problems – these are just a few of the factors that can take a toll on a relationship. Some couples will reach a point where they seriously question whether they can rekindle the flame. This is when couples therapy can be an excellent resource.

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, also known as marriage or relationship counseling, offers a structured and supportive environment in which to address these challenges. By working with a trained therapist, partners can explore their relationship goals and concerns, improve communication, and rebuild their emotional connection. Here, we’ll explore how relationship therapy works and how it can help you and your partner fall back in love.

Creating a Safe Space for Communication

Oftentimes, we can get stuck in unproductive patterns of communication with our partners. We have the same fights over and over again, or we feel like our partner isn’t hearing us anymore. One of the primary goals of couples therapy is to create a safe, non-judgmental space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings openly. The therapist acts as a more objective third party, interrupting unhelpful patterns of interacting and helping each person in the relationship feel heard. This environment encourages honest communication and helps to uncover underlying issues that may be affecting the relationship.

Make an Appointment

Identifying Patterns and Triggers

Couples therapy helps partners identify negative patterns in their interactions. By recognizing these patterns, couples can begin to understand the dynamics that contribute to conflict and disconnection. If it becomes clear to the couples therapist that issues like past trauma or mental health problems might be contributing to negative dynamics in the relationship, they can recommend individual therapy as well, in conjunction with couples therapy.

Enhancing Emotional Understanding

Therapy fosters a deeper emotional understanding between partners. By exploring each other’s emotions and experiences, couples can develop greater empathy and compassion, which are essential for a strong, loving relationship. With a couples therapist to guide conversations and provide “homework” to do in-between sessions, people often find they learn new things about their partner – even after being together for many years! This new way of understanding your partner can add new spark and excitement to even decades-long relationships.

Improving Communication Skills

Effective communication is crucial for a healthy relationship, but it’s a skill that too few of us learn on our own. Relationship therapy teaches practical communication skills, such as active listening, assertiveness, and non-verbal communication, to help partners express themselves more clearly and listen more effectively. By practicing new ways of communicating, partners can go back home feeling more confident in their ability to apply the new skills they have learned when the therapist is no longer there to assist.

Rebuilding Trust

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. In therapy, couples can address issues of trust and work on rebuilding it through transparency, consistency, and mutual respect. Even couples who have experienced significant breaches of trust – yes, even affairs – can find a way to rebuild lost trust through couples therapy. As long as all parties in the relationship want to rebuild trust, couples therapy can be a critical part of that process.

Resolving Conflicts Constructively

Nearly all couples struggle with knowing how to argue constructively and in a way that allows all parties to feel safe. Couples therapy provides tools and techniques for addressing and resolving conflicts in a constructive manner. Instead of resorting to blame, stonewalling or avoidance, partners learn to approach conflicts with a problem-solving mindset. As a bonus, these conflict management skills can be applied to other relationships as well, such as at work, with friends, or with other family members.

Rekindling Romance and Intimacy

A key aspect of falling back in love is rekindling romance and intimacy. Therapy encourages couples to explore ways to reconnect physically and emotionally, helping to reignite the spark in their relationship. For people who are hesitant to discuss intimacy with a third party, couples therapists can recommend other resources such as books, podcasts, and even lists of questions partners can ask each other outside of the therapy session.

Setting and Achieving Relationship Goals

In therapy, couples can set realistic and achievable goals for their relationship. Whether it’s improving communication, spending more quality time together, or addressing specific issues, having clear goals provides direction and motivation. Through this process, couples can also become more aware of where their goals align, and where they might have some key differences they need to resolve – which they can also do in couples therapy.

Building a Stronger Partnership

Couples therapy emphasizes the importance of teamwork and collaboration. By working together to overcome challenges, partners can build a stronger, more resilient partnership.

Maintaining Progress and Growth

Therapy equips couples with strategies to maintain their progress and continue growing together. Regular check-ins and ongoing communication help to sustain the improvements made during therapy.

Couples Therapy in Minneapolis and St. Paul

Couples therapy is a transformative process that provides the tools and support needed to fall back in love and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. By creating a safe space for open communication, identifying and addressing negative patterns, and enhancing emotional understanding, therapy helps couples reconnect and strengthen their bond. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply looking to improve your relationship, relationship therapy offers a structured path to rediscovering love and building a stronger partnership. Embrace the journey of falling back in love, with the guidance of an experienced therapist, and discover the profound impact couples therapy can have on your relationship.

Ready to give therapy a try? At LynLake, we offer marriage, relationship and couples therapy in Minneapolis and St. Paul. Contact us today to be matched with one of our couples therapists.

Make an Appointment

LGBTQ Therapy – 5 Reasons People Go to LynLake

LGBTQ Therapy: What is it and why is it important?

People who identify as LGBTQ+ – or queer, as some people prefer to identify – often face unique challenges as a result of societal, religious and cultural beliefs around sexuality, sexual orientation, gender identity, and relationships. Members of the queer community often experience higher rates of sexual and physical violence, emotional abuse, mental health challenges and suicide than heterosexual, cis gender individuals. Therapists specifically trained in helping LGBTQ+ individuals, partners and family members provide a safe place for people to explore the various aspects of their identity, process traumatic events in their lives, gain skills other resources for managing mental health symptoms, and learn how to navigate complicated relationships with family members and others in their community.

Make an Appointment

LGBTQ Therapy – Why People Go to LynLake

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we understand the unique challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. Our compassionate and experienced team is dedicated to providing the highest quality of care to help individuals thrive. Our therapists provide judgment-free, sex-positive, gender affirming therapy for individuals, couples, families and non-traditional relationship structures.

Here are five of the reasons people seek LGBTQ therapy in Minneapolis at LynLake Centers for Wellbeing.

1. Inclusive and Affirming Environment
At LynLake, inclusivity and affirmation are at the core of our practice. For us, these are not just trendy words: we genuinely regard our top priority as fostering a culture of inclusivity and affirmation of people from all walks of life. We pride ourselves in providing a safe and welcoming space for LGBTQ+ individuals to express themselves freely and openly. Our diverse team of over 200+ practitioners is trained in cultural competence, ensuring that all clients feel seen, heard, and respected. Whether you’re exploring your identity, dealing with discrimination, or seeking support for relationship issues, our therapists are here for you.

2. Specialized Expertise in LGBTQ Therapy
Our practitioners bring a wealth of experience and specialized knowledge in addressing the unique needs of the LGBTQ community. In fact, many of our clinicians identify as LGBTQ+ and are passionate about supporting members of the queer community by providing informed and compassionate LGBTQ therapy. We offer support for a range of concerns, including (but not limited to) coming out, navigating family relationships, gender dysphoria, sexual exploration, and mental health challenges such as depression, PTSD and anxiety. By focusing on your individual experiences and perspectives, we can develop a personalized treatment plan that empowers you to lead an authentic and fulfilling life.

3. Trauma-Informed Care
Many LGBTQ individuals have experienced traumatic events in their lives, whether due to discrimination, rejection, emotional, physical and/or sexual violence, or other adverse experiences. This is why we emphasize a trauma-informed approach to therapy, recognizing the impact these experiences can have on your emotional well-being. Our providers are trained in a variety of trauma-focused modalities, including EMDR, somatic experiencing, brainspotting and more. Your therapist can help you navigate and heal from trauma, creating a compassionate and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings and build resilience.

4. Holistic Approach to Wellness
We believe in addressing the whole person, recognizing that mental health is closely tied to physical health. Our holistic approach to wellness takes into account your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being, as well as how they interact. That is why, in addition to traditional therapy, we offer services such as medication management, nutrition services, acupuncture, yoga therapy, and wellness coaching. This integrative model allows us to address the issues you’re facing from a variety of approaches and philosophies, to support you in achieving overall well-being.

5. A Deep Understanding of LGBTQ+ Relationships
When it comes to relationships, we recognize that traditional couples therapy often does not work well for relationships that fall outside heteronormative assumptions, which is why many of our therapists have specific training in working with LGBTQ couples and non-traditional relationship structures. As an organization, we are committed to approaching all relationships with acceptance and compassion, not judgment. As such, our providers will tailor their interventions to meet the expressed needs and goals of their clients. If, for whatever reason, you are placed with a provider you do not feel is equipped to address your specific needs and relationship goals, be rest assured that they can refer you to another LynLake provider who is.
Make an Appointment

LGBTQ Therapy in Minneapolis – LynLake Centers for WellBeing

At LynLake Centers for WellBeing, we’re committed to helping all people heal and thrive. Our experienced, inclusive, and compassionate team is here to support you on your path to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. No matter where you are on your journey, we’re here to guide you toward finding your path toward wellness. If you are looking for LGBTQ therapy in Minneapolis, we encourage you to contact us today to get matched with a therapist who understands and supports your unique experiences and concerns. Click here to read more about our LGBTQ+ services in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

The Two-Part Secret to Unlocking Your Libido

My favorite self-help book of the century so far is Emily Nagoske’s “Come As You Are,” a guide to understanding the female body and the mechanisms of sexuality, I personally think this book should be required reading in every high school across America (although I’m also certain it never will be), as it is by far the best book I have ever read when it comes to helping us understand the complicated relationship between our bodies, our lived experiences, and our desire for intimacy.

One of the central themes in Nagoski’s book, and the one I use most often when working with couples, is that our sex drive has both a “brake” and an “accelerator.” Whereas most of us tend to think of desire for sex as more of a single on or off switch (you’re either in the mood or you’re not), Nagoski makes the compelling case for a two-part system, with both parts requiring attention if igniting a desire for sexual intimacy is the end goal.

Part 1: The Accelerator

When it comes to ramping up our desire for sexual intimacy, most of us have some idea of what gets us going. Whether it’s certain music, specific types of touch, playful text messages, imagery, or even laughter and just being silly, each of us develops a menu, if you will, of what takes us from neutral to ready-to-go. That is our accelerator. And since your list of what revs your engine is unlikely to be the same as your partner’s, it’s important to let them know what kinds of actions or activities get your accelerator going, and to ask your partner what does the same for them.

We also need to understand that each accelerator is uniquely sensitive. Just like with cars, some accelerators need just the slightest touch to get going, whereas others require a more concerted effort. Similarly, some people can go from 0 to 100 in under a minute, whereas other people take a lot longer to get there. This means that even if you and your partner happen to have the same activities on your lists of accelerators, that doesn’t necessarily mean you both rev up in the same amount of time.

I always encourage my couples clients to have an open and honest conversation about their accelerators. Not only can it be an extremely fun conversation to have, but it also can have a positive impact on each partner’s sexual satisfaction within the relationship. Some of the questions to consider discussing with your partner: What kinds of things can they do to get your accelerator going? And vice versa? How much time do you need to get revved up? What else should they know about your unique accelerator? What else should you know about theirs?

Schedule an Appointment

Part 2: The Brake

Some of you, when reading the questions above, might be thinking to yourself, “I can’t answer those because it completely depends on how I’m feeling!” Maybe you are thinking about the times when your partner was doing all the right things to get your accelerator going, but you were having none of it. That is what Nagoski refers to as your brake.

Going back to the car metaphor: you can have the pedal to the metal, but if the brake is on, that car ain’t goin’ nowhere.

As with the accelerator, we each have our own unique set of brake-pushers, and what activates one person’s brake may have no impact whatsoever on another person’s brake – it might even rev their accelerator! Nor is there a “right” or “wrong” when it comes to our brakes (or our accelerators). Our unique histories, temperaments and chemistry all come together to determine how our bodies respond to our environment. That said, some common brake activators include various stressors (work, financial, family, household, etc), sleep deprivation, illness, pain, a messy environment, and hormones. Not surprisingly, if you happen to be upset with your partner for whatever reason, that alone may slam on your brakes.

One common misconception is that people who have a frequent desire for sexual intimacy and a rapid accelerator also have no brakes. That’s because, in comparison to their partner, it may in fact appear that way. Consequently, on the rare occasion when their brake is activated, their partner may take it personally and interpret the brake to mean that their partner is no longer interested in them. But while some people have a very short list of stressors that activate their brake, pretty much all of us have one – the differences are in how many things activate the brake, how long the brake stays engaged once activated, and what it takes to disengage it.

Whatever the cause, when our brake is on, we are unable to access our sexual desire, no matter what else is going on that would typically rev our accelerator. We aren’t interested in that kind of intimacy, even if we still want touch, snuggles or kisses. What this means is that if you are hoping for sexual intimacy with your partner, your first task is to see if their brake is engaged. If the answer is yes, step 2 is to see if there is anything you can do to help alleviate the pressure on it. Is your partner stressed out because they have too much to do? Then see if there is anything you can take on to reduce their load. Is a messy space on their list of brake-pushers? Consider proactively cleaning up around the place before they get home. If it turns out there’s nothing you can do to relieve the pressure on your partner’s brake, your best bet is probably to wait it out, rather than add to their stress by complaining about it or trying to push the issue.

I have seen some amazing conversations take place between couples with regard to their brakes. So consider talking with your partner about what activates your brake, and ask them to think through what activates theirs. Then talk about what each of you would like your partner to do when they notice your brake is on. While this conversation may not be quite as fun as talking about your accelerators, it can go a long way towards building a mutual sense of trust and understanding in the relationship – which, for many people, can be a pretty effective accelerator all on its own.

LynLake Centers for WellBeing provides therapy and counseling services. Begin your journey to healing and wellness by scheduling an appointment with us today.

__
Written by: Terri Bly, PsyD, LP, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

In Defense of “Negative” Emotions

The messages we receive throughout our lives regarding certain emotions are pretty clear: The ones that cause pain or discomfort are not normal, and we should do whatever we can to feel more good, and less bad, as often as possible. We call these uncomfortable emotions “negative,” as opposed to the much preferred “positive” emotions such as happiness, contentment, excitement, and enthusiasm. 

But what if we actually need the entire range of emotions – the good, the bad, and the ugly – to live a full and meaningful life? What if the emotions we label as “negative” aren’t actually emotions we should be trying to get rid of, but rather, emotions we should be listening to and learning from? What if we stopped thinking of them as “negative” altogether, but instead thought of them as problem-signaling emotions? 

Negative Emotions’ Negative Reputation

It’s pretty easy to understand how most of us ended up with such a negative opinion of uncomfortable emotions. For example, many of us grew up in families in which expressing sadness or disappointment was often met with a lecture about how no one likes a complainer, or how much better you have it than other kids, and therefore you should be grateful, not sad. We learned that these were not emotions that “good kids” expressed. Many of us also came to associate anger with violence and/or punishment; in other words, we learned that nothing good comes from the expression of anger, so best to just stuff it down. In addition, many societies (including here in the United States) only tolerate the expression of emotions like anger, frustration or sadness in certain situations or from certain people, depending on your race, gender, and so forth.

And then we have the medical model and how it has influenced the way we think about emotions. As mental health providers, we are required to document our client’s “symptoms” during each session, and many of these symptoms are, in fact, emotions, such as sadness, loneliness, irritability, frequent worry, and guilt. To be clear, therapists aren’t supposed to diagnose anyone with a mood disorder simply because they are experiencing one or more of these emotions. Nonetheless, it is hard not to think of these emotions as pathological when we routinely make note of them as “current symptoms,” with the explicit goal of helping our clients get rid of them.  

So why am I arguing that these emotions are mislabeled as negative? I mean, no one wants to feel sadness, hurt, guilt, anxiety, irritability or anger…right? These emotions can be deeply uncomfortable, and they never feel positive. They can even feel overwhelming, as though they may consume us if we don’t fight them off as quickly as possible. How on earth, then, are we supposed to think of them as anything other than unwanted and potentially destructive emotional states we should try to overcome as quickly as possible? 

Wired To Be Negative

Believe it or not, the human brain is wired for negativity. From birth, we attend and respond to negative “stimuli” more than positive ones. That’s why a baby cries within seconds of being born, but doesn’t smile or laugh for at least six more weeks. Negative emotions are essential tools for survival; they are designed to alert us and our caregivers that something is wrong. These feelings are uncomfortable on purpose because that discomfort motivates us to identify the problem(s) and take action, in order to make the discomfort go away. But if we immediately rush into the getting-back-to-comfortable part, without first listening to what the emotions are trying to communicate, we aren’t able to solve whatever problem those emotions are trying to alert us to. We treat the uncomfortable emotions themselves as the problem, rather than whatever is causing them in the first place. 

Think of the smoke detectors in your home. They are designed to make an intentionally horrible, shrill beeping sound if they detect smoke, because smoke might mean there’s a fire, which in turn could cause serious damage to your home and everyone in it. If, every time the smoke detector went off, you immediately went about removing the batteries so that it would stop making that awful sound, without first checking to see if there is an actual fire, you can see how that might be problematic. Our “negative” emotions are like that fire alarm. 

Take sadness as an example. Let’s say I notice that for the last week or two, I’ve been feeling sadder than usual, with low energy and a strong desire to stay in bed (i.e., the “smoke detector” has gone off). It’s awful and I don’t want to feel this way anymore, so I ask my doctor for a prescription for antidepressants (removing the batteries). But what if the sadness is trying to communicate to me that something is wrong? What if it is trying to let me know that I am not spending enough time with friends or family, or that I am not moving my body enough? Or what if it is alerting me to a vitamin D deficiency, a thyroid problem, or the onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder? Maybe I’ve been interpreting things happening in my life in an unnecessarily negative way, without even realizing it, and that is leading to prolonged sadness. In other words, maybe there’s an actual fire, and if I don’t take the time to explore what the emotional smoke alarm is trying to tell me, I might overlook some important information. 

And yes, for some people, their emotional smoke alarm is too sensitive, sounding the alarm at even the slightest hint of an over-browned piece of toast, which means focusing on the alarm itself is a good idea. Antidepressants can alleviate symptoms of depression for many people, and for some, they truly are the best solution. My point is that the smoke alarm can go off for many reasons, from over-browned toast to actual fires, which means identifying the best solution for making it stop requires determining why it’s going off in the first place. 

The same holds true for anger, anxiety, irritability, and most other uncomfortable emotions. These emotions are all trying to signal to us that something is out of whack, and the problem (as well as the solution) may take some investigation. 

How To Listen To Your Emotions In A New Way

Now it’s time to practice cultivating a different kind of relationship with your uncomfortable feelings. Here are a few steps you can take to begin responding to your problem-signaling emotions in a new way: 

  1. Notice your emotions.
    Some of us are so good at suppressing uncomfortable emotions, we get rid of them before we fully realize they were there in the first place. We become disconnected from our emotional experiences. To get a sense of how you typically relate to your emotions, try checking in with yourself about once an hour, for maybe a day or two, and ask yourself how you feel. You can jot it down in a journal or on your phone, log it on a feelings tracker app, or just notice it to yourself and continue on with your day.
  2. Sit with your emotions.
    Next time you notice yourself experiencing an uncomfortable emotion, try pausing in that moment, name the emotion, and then see if you can let yourself feel it. You don’t need to do anything else; just hang with the emotion for maybe 90 seconds or so and notice what happens. This can take some practice, especially if you are an expert at doing away with uncomfortable feelings the moment they arrive, so if you find that this is too hard, ask your therapist for assistance at your next session.
  3. Get to know your emotions.
    Once you feel like you’ve gotten a hang of sitting with your full range of emotions, now it’s time to see if you can spend some time understanding what they are trying to tell you. Is anything going on in your life that might be causing the alarm bells to sound? What about physically? This is the part where therapy can be really helpful, as your therapist can help you identify potential causes of the painful emotions, and their solutions.

Once you start viewing all of your emotions as important and valuable, you may notice yourself becoming less fearful and more open to new possibilities, willing to go outside your comfort zone because you know you can handle whatever emotions pop up along the way. It’s not an easy process, but it can have a profound impact on your life.

LynLake Centers for WellBeing provides therapy and counseling services. Begin your journey to healing and wellness by scheduling an appointment with us today.

__
Written by: Terri Bly, PsyD, LP, Licensed Clinical Psychologist